Be the change you want to see.

my journal, imma be just a little snarky.

 

you know the stereotype that goes "oh, she was so lovely... until she opened her mouth and started speaking"...?
oh, that happens with men too.

 

*moue*

 

but I go to this particular dance partly for the exercise, and partly to be around people, and partly to dare myself to continue with a practice that can be uncomfortable and challenging. that includes me or others saying a dumb thing, pushing too hard to do something, being disappointed in some kind of expectations, etc.

 

it was a good dance. only my second time ever dancing with very energetic Russian boy, second time ever with J who is lovely but presents as shy, and second time with A, who is very very tall, high energy, and very silly. I enjoyed those, very much, as well as lots of momentary people contacts throughout the evening, and my own solo dancing.

 

oh! and I rode my bike there and back, despite having access to car. Convinced myself that I could tag out when the weather is gray, wet, cold, and miserable on a Monday, but I will try using the bicycle to get to dance on Mondays and Wednesday noon gym workouts, at the least.

 

I felt really strong coming home tonight.
it felt really good.

I think I'm a bit masochistic when it comes to working out. I actually kind of like the sore muscles afterwards. Feels like I really accomplished something, and the proof is literal vibration in the fibers of my being.

 

This morning I'm drinking my tea and reading Tarot, and my left calf is twitching and vibrating in a particular spot that was painful as hell to massage just on Sunday. I remember because I thought that was one of many muscle adhesions that were probably contributing to the foot pain/plantar fasciitis... places where the trainer said to roll the muscle on the foam core...

 

But if it's twitching, that means it's not frozen anymore. Maybe between dancing for 3 hours on Monday and two hours of yoga yesterday, Good Things Have Happened in my calf. The foot pain is less this morning, which is great. and last night I was massaging my calves and their Achilles tendons, both are remarkably less tender, both are softer and more malleable than just three days ago. It's a notable change. it's a big increase in comfort, decrease in pain.

 

Still finding myself preparing to hurt...  taking small, protective steps when I get out of bed, but the pain was very small this morning. Yay for that. I took some time rolling my ankles, warming up my hamstrings and hip flexors before getting out of bed, which probably did help, but it feels like a whole new ball game right now.

 

gonna go eat something and drink the rest of my tea, and put warm clothes on... Fall seems to finally be here, and I love bundling up. Mmmm, sweaters and boots.

 

just wanted to share that I hurt significantly less today, and that makes me happy. :)

 

how y'all doing? can I help in any way?

Hi LJ!

Been offline for two days. It's been surprisingly good; rewarding and productive. My house looks better than it has since we moved in, I cleared almost all the surfaces (including the floors, I could actually sweep in here and probably will in honor of Samhain before I leave for class tonight...) I threw a bunch of stuff away, recycled a bunch of stuff, and took at least 40 pounds to goodwill (my mom's trivet collection was HEAVY... *g*)

Saw the podiatrist yesterday for the pain I've been feeling in my right foot. It's been on the top of my foot and making me limp a bit, enough that I was worried about doing my back an injury or insult again. (it's happened before when I have been gimpy!) We looked at my x-rays and nothing was broken. *whew* and wow, what they can do with x-rays now! they were sent directly to his computer, like 15 minutes after they were taken, and he could tweak the resolution to clear up the picture in case the tech only took a mediocre picture... measure my bones in their real sizes, right there on the screen, it was pretty wow.

he manipulated my Rt. foot a bit before we looked at the x-rays, and a bit more afterward... he also checked out my calf and shin for a bit, and then he explained what he could see on the x-rays.

The places I was feeling more pain were metatarsals 2 and 3, though all 4 of the smaller metatarsals were sore! (as I discovered once he was pressing firmly on each one and I was yelping! And this is true on BOTH FEET!) On the x-rays he measured and showed me how 2 and 3 (the bones just next to the big-toe bone) were measurably thicker in the dense, structural bone, than 4 and 5.

Then he explained why that is: my calves (and I assume by extension, my hamstrings) are SO TIGHT that they are putting stress on the arch-bones of my foot! (No shit, there I was!) Mind-blowing...! He also explained that the reason I love my Chakos (and by extension the mules from Keen) is the slight heel (on top of the arch support); calf muscles like that make the body want to walk on its toes all the time (hum, that explains why I sit with my heels up on the chairlegs all the time when I'm on the computer!) The stress from the muscle constantly pulling works to strengthen the bones, but taken too far, you can get stress fractures... and DO. NOT. WANT.

The PT for this crazy tension, is to do those calf-lengthening stretches, hanging your heels off the kerb, sort of thing, but this morning I've been exploring my body's flexibility and it feels like, well, EVERYTHING is tight - hams, obliques, quads, the IT band, adductors, abductors, and the little trapezoid-shape over my lower back... (let's not even BRING my shoulders and neck into it right now...) Had a lovely massage from a new guy at Massage Envy Wed night, but you couldn't prove it by me today. (Ow.)

So yesterday after coming back from my appt, I did some more housework and organization, put some Rush on (Snakes and Arrows, for those who know) and was trying to dance and move around the place. Yeah, all kinds of muscular tension, ALL OVER.

I've been saying for a long time that I wanted to get fit, get strong, inhabit my body more, but now I have literally SEEN what it does. WOW. Sitting on my ass for too long is double-PLUS-ungood!

You'll see me moving a lot more in the upcoming years, and for the rest of my life. Thank goodness I'm in the Waldorf program, it's really about learning BALANCE between the realms of your life - artistic, physical/kinesthetic, mind, spirit, social...

My habits are changing. Which means folk won't find me here QUITE as often, but _I_ will DEFINITELY be healthier for it.

And now I think I will get dressed and go for a walk to the grocery store.