labelleizzy: (this is it)
Recently the idea circulated round here on Livejournal to describe oneself in terms of absolute truth yet to paint what might be considered an untruthful picture of yourself as a whole.

In contemplating this idea I'm realizing that I can only think of descriptors of how I *used* to be but am no longer, or events or injuries, or choices I made, which can no longer describe the me I am now.

What am I now?

A teacher, a student, an artist. A dreamer, an idealist, a warrior for the truth. A happy homemaker. A woman with two lovers. A woman who is moving out of Mother phase but is not ready for Croning... I think Teacher and Warrior make good intermediate stages, don't you?

I am a crafter and a destroyer and a designer. I am a gardener and a keeper of the flame. I pray and I meditate and I struggle with forgiveness.

I am forgetful when I get immersed in technological storytelling. I get sucked in SO BAD by computer, TV, or phone that I try to take media-free vacation days where I don't touch any of them. This is hard though because the smartphone is soooo magnetic...

I have good intentions that I don't always follow through on. I miss my own deadlines. Yet I am still producing more and better quality projects with greater quotae of finished-ness than I have ever done before.

I get a lot done some days, and some days I do nothing at all. I'm okay with that. I quit shaming myself and beating myself up over not meeting my own or others' expectations, somewhere around five years ago. It didn't help, and it made me feel miserable.

I try to live for myself now. I try to DO a lot for others, but that's different than LIVING for others, the way I used to. I make my own goals and help my life to have rhythms that meet the goals without panicking or pushing myself, or at least not any more than a natural focus and attention to detail requires.

I love more easily. I don't tolerate drama much anymore. My ups and my downs both tend to be flatter than they once were (of course we used to be talking Himalayas and Marianis Trench, so that's actually a GOOD thing!)... and because I no longer need to wallow in my OMG SQUEE or OMG POOR ME, I do indeed Get More Stuff Done. More art, more fun things, more time with the cats and my sweeties. Soon, more time for my friends, and I can't wait!

simplification is very appealing. purging the unnecessary is very appealing, and I'm more ruthless than I ever have been. but, but I get overwhelmed by the leftovers of my former lives. Especially paper, especially in huge piles still packed up from the last move or the move before that one. so I don't deal with it for long periods of time. maybe I can trade with someone I trust: I'll go through that one box of paper for you if you will go through that box of paper for me. Save out the things that are actually useful and trash the rest.

I have tattoo plans that might surprise some people.

If I love you, live with you, and am happy and content, I will match and fold your socks in the laundry. If I'm pissed off, your socks will still be clean but you will have to turn them right side around and match them up for yourself. (I just turned a TON of socks right-side around today and matched them all up and made a pretty drawer-space for them. Today is a good day!)

Sometimes I'm a hypocrite in small ways. For instance, I will often forget to clean up after myself when working on a project, but if someone ELSE does that I get very angry. (shrug) Guess that's pretty human.

I'm working on (gently escorting) some bad habits (downstairs and out the door). Some I can't get rid of myself, so I plan to hire someone to help. Namely, a fitness/rehabilitation coach. Best advice on this: find someone my age or older who GETS what it means to rehab an injury or illness, and will listen when I say, this is my goal, how can I best and most safely achieve it?

I like to brain dump and don't always bother to come to a pretty conclusion. =)
labelleizzy: (Default)
Last night I got, as a friend of mine used to say, Thwacked With The Salmon Of Wisdom... cos some of us don't get to eat the salmon, and that's just how it goes.

I have to find a Professional Fisherman who can supply me with Salmon-Thwacks until I learn better how to fish for my own Learned Fish. a bit discouraged. Have a lot of stuff to work on: need to raise the bar from Calendaring to Logistics (which is more complicated, of course); need to Time Manage so I get all my homework done before class (I'm wayyyy behind now), and I need to seriously re-engage in the Job Search.

I want to crawl into a cave, or go do EVERYthing else other than what I need to do. But I can't afford to get distracted, somehow I just lost 2 hours (though I did finish my project for Saturday's class).

Would I "manage my time" better if I had a job? A regular routine? You bet your bippy I would.

(GODS I hate jobhunting.)

Gonna go eat lunch and get done what I need to.
labelleizzy: (boom-ti-yadda)
Lark was really fun.
I hit yesterday (friday) and was like - whoa, the week is over? what happened? =P We established routines very quickly and got very very busy. I think I started with 6 classes and ended with 5 every day.

but I learned lots, I probably have at LEAST three new cool friends and maybe more, two new hobbies, maybe more (and [ profile] ribbin and [ profile] miss_mimsy are gonna help me out with one at least, oh yes they are) and I have a new crush I think... heh. Oh, and I want to inherit Chris Caswell's teaching style and sense of humor when I get older... (not GONNA grow up...)

I feel tons stronger from hiking all over the place and dancing, except I tweaked my knee the last day of dance class so my knee and my lower lumbar muscles are duking it out for who is going to make my life more inconvenient... still ambulatory but the back hurts from overcompensating for the twang. I'll get my massage dude to pound hell out of my new muscles (yay for Aubre OMG she rocks my world SO hard!) and my new sore spot; that should help. Yay for Vitamin I.

Today we get to unpack, quick email check, wash clothes like crazy, soak in the tub, maybe reschedule the moving van by one day, depending on ppl's schedules.

Which I'm going to go check. Me geek, me write Livejournal first once I got my network and my browser working properly again. Heh!
labelleizzy: (gaia)
I wouldn't have thought (or realized) that a Stick of Whapping could be such a satisfying and reliable gardening tool.


I have an old chair leg (the rest of the chair went bye-bye but since the leg already fell off, I was like, why not?)... and I have had several bushes in the back yard that died (or mostly died) some months ago when the pump for the backyard well failed for several days last summer.

how satisfying to whack the hell out of old dead brush, have it break and splinter and fracture, to aim blows for the joints of the dead plant and see limbs go flying, stir up dust (ok not that so much) and make something that's literally only in the way of progress, get smaller and smaller.

I think when the shrubs are finally gone I'll dig a nice big hole and plant sets of bulbs, or bunches of herbs that grow well in damp soil and indirect light.
labelleizzy: (Default)
I am hearing good things from my f-list about what people want to accomplish, achieve, or change in this new year.

After reading what [ profile] noelfigart had to say about planning and goalsetting, though, I realized that my main priorities for this year fall into 5 main categories. Tidy, that.

1) Simplify.
2) Get Stronger.
3) Network.
4) Plan.
5) Practice.

I think I will enjoy exploring/writing about each of those in turn. Or not.

Fairly self explanatory. And I've written reams over the last what- 4 years? I've been on Livejournal?

Simplicity will be good.
labelleizzy: (Dying Onstage)
Hi all,

I'm starting a community to talk about high school theater, teaching, directing, producing, selecting plays; also about teaching, watching theater, writing plays, theater tech, design, etcetera.

If you have an interest in such things, I would be pleased if you would join and post. I will be talking about failure, success, and other such learning experiences, posting about shows I see (or take my students to), about local and faraway theater productions, and anything I can think about.

Come see what we're up to, the community is called [ profile] theater_talk (and I'm amazed the name wasn't taken!).

Come play!

xposted to [ profile] badass_teacher, [ profile] englishteachers, here, and other places as I think of them.

(I'm lookin' at you, [ profile] gypsyritsa, [ profile] ihaveatiara, [ profile] ladykalessia, [ profile] ef2p, [ profile] pirategrrl, and probably a lot of other people!)
labelleizzy: (Buddha think and become)
If I don't take the time and energy to meet my own needs and take care of my self, why would I believe I could meet the needs of others?

If I don't weed out the cankerblossoms from my own soul, won't they set root and even seed out new cankers, new miseries, new heartaches? New misunderstandings?

If I don't show respect, how can I expect respect?

If I don't live the love, why would I expect love to be given to me?


I failed to plan. I failed to set my priorities and my plans in order to meet those priorities.
I have been failing to plan.

It is time to use the Big Brain and work out the Most Important Things and how to achieve, become, or work toward them.

I start again today.
labelleizzy: (curiosity)
OK, anyone familiar with Flylady and her HotSpots, I have a question for you...

feels like sometimes my Firefox browser is like a hotspot of its own. I currently have almost 5 full rows of tabs open, and that's usual for me, even when Jeff makes gentle fun of me for doing so.

I close things when I finish tasks, commenting, posting, reading, but I always seem to have too much to remember, so it's really like my desk - lots of bits of paper (hopefully) reminding me of stuff I have to finish.

Anybody else do something like this?


Apr. 29th, 2007 10:27 pm
labelleizzy: (growth is inevitable)
I've decided that from now on, April is my Month-o-Self-Care-n-Checkups.

it just makes sense.

No more putting it all off.

which reminds me, I have to book a flight and get a substitute again for Friday's Southern Cal memorial for Scotty. And make sure it's ok with my boss. (I'm pretty sure it will be.)


labelleizzy: (Default)

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