Partner count. ( À question of sex)

[labelleizzy]

Huh.
Trying to do a sex partner tally.
(Was on OkCupid reviewing match questions with someone)

I think I've only had sex with 17 people, if I define sex as, "everyone was willing and at least one orgasm occurred."

That is 17 in 32 years.
I need to think about, do I have feelings about that. And if so, what feelings do I have?

Hmmmmm

Comments

[hafnia]

I mean, I'm at 4, with 12 years of being sexually active.

The partner is at 16 for 14 years.

I don't think there's a "right" or "wrong" answer. :)

[labelleizzy]

Thanks for that comment... That's a part of what I'm sitting with. That there isn't a "right" or "wrong" answer, but a part of me is sure that... or, Not exactly sure, that it's a competition? With who IDK...

And if I sit a little bit more, I can tell that what *I* want, isn't a competition, isn't notches on the bedpost. I don't want to be "sluttier" or lower my standards, I don't think I *could* anyway. I can't get it up unless I care about someone and like them a lot.

I think I just need to sit more, maybe write more, about what "having a number" means to me, while teasing out what I think this puritanical gynophobic culture tries to sneak into our heads about women and sex and value and worth.

There. That feels right.