Dating again? Looks like it

[labelleizzy]

Heading into therapy in a minute, had my first coffee date in over a year this morning. I didn't realize until the last week, I have been really lonely, and I have been telling myself a story about why, for years.

I just signed back up with OkCupid, completely reinvented my dating profile and took away how I used to express myself in talking about the past.

And suddenly I'm talking a lot with really nice fun sympatico people. And at the moment I'm sat here in the car crying before therapy for how long I felt like that was not going to be a possibility; for the story that I told myself that I was unwanted and unwelcome; and how old that story is... it goes back to my childhood.

But! But my coffee date today went great! we both want to see each other again, he seems like an honestly good human being. And I have two other folks who both want to see me and I want to meet them! one of them works like walking distance away from my house! The other one is younger and sweet.

I have a really good feeling about this. It's time to look to the Future.

Comments

[cjsmith]

WOOHOO!!!!

[labelleizzy]

It's like when we got that first clear breath after the fires this fall.

[cjsmith]

Oh, wow, yes.

[hitchhiker]

yay :)

[labelleizzy]

*shy grin* thank you...

[noahgibbs]

Awesome!

[labelleizzy]

thank you!

[tarasacon]

*hugs*

Yay, for finding a way to meet a long un-met need! I know those feels. I am currently wrestling with untangling my needs in hopes of finding safe & sane ways of meeting them.

[labelleizzy]

here for it. here to listen best i can.
i intend to try and spend more time here and less time on facebook this year.

[tshuma]

I <3 this so much!

[tshuma]

I am SO excited you are deciding to look to the future! I feel like you have mined your past for many gems of insight lo these many years, and there were tunnels and runnels and pathways covered in grime, and some of it you had to carve out with a rusty spoon. That was HARDASS work and I am proud of you for doing it, but I am so happy for you that in doing it you have cleared space enough to be able to look ahead.

[labelleizzy]

i love you so much for SEEING me, for reflecting this back to me, it helps so so much to hear it.

truth be told I did have to set the phone down and leave, for a few minutes, when I read this comment this morning. I got extremely emotional and didnt know what to say.

but of course you saw me. <3<3<3

part of the old carapace that's getting left behind is the feeling that I'm invisible and worse, that I deserve to be. THAT is getting left in my DUST.

y'know? Selfie culture is really friggin empowering. Planning for the future is empowering too.

also, I have a second date with the comedian bloke. :) am looking forward to it!

[tshuma]

Hooray! Not just the future, but also living in the NOW. Go you! This moment? This moment is everything.

I love you honey.

[tarasacon]

<3 loving all this.