post stress reactions

[labelleizzy]

I thought I had a lump in my breast.
Yes, THAT kind of lump.
Turns out I was wrong
thank GODS I was wrong

 

I didn't let myself have time to react today, to release, to let go of the holding-on I've been doing ever since I first suspected, something like two months ago...

 

and just finished a HARD workout with Tal... I told her about my appointment and my worries from today, and that I wanted to "sweat out all the stress"... she said, with a grin, "we can DO that!"

 

and we did.
hells, halfway through, she even made me RUN, like seriously RUN THROUGH THE GYM and around the other people working out, in a loop around the two guys playing basketball, who looked honest to goodness surprised to see this two-and-a-quarter hundred-pound chick pelting after her zippy little 98 pound trainer...

 

but I kept up. *grin*
Tal *gets* without me saying it that I get all locked up in my head (most of my life) and deep in my bones when we work out... and she pulls out something crazy like this, and it pops me back out into reality.

 

so, okay, once I stretched out and cooled down, I did wind up in the locker room ambushed by sobs for about a second.

 

like omg I dodged a bullet there kind of thing

 

like what am I doing with my life

 

just this enormous almost panic attack... can you have a "relief attack?"

 

shuddering, head on the bench, hunkered down, my face in the shirt I'm about to put on...

 

I'm outside now, baking in the car because I needed to write this down.

 

the value of being IN the body cannot be measured, and yet I usually take it for granted.

 

being in the Body fixes some things that the Mind creates.

 

I want to remember that.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Comments

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/kissing-off-caffeine-my-scary-wake-up-call-439705.html

[vodkafrenzy.livejournal.com]

Wow *deep breath* that is one hell of a powerful post. Thank you for sharing that. Sometimes a bloody hard workout works more than just with the muscles *nods*

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

Thanks. And yes... Body-mind is some powerful shit, let me tell you.

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

Glad you're OK.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

Fuck yeah, me too.

I'd like still be vibrating if my cat weren't pinning me down now...

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

That kind of worry would shake anyone.
Good thing the cat is there to stop it.

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

oh, thank god for that!

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[a-kosmos.livejournal.com]

I am soooooo very happy for you! Hooray! I can relate to feeling weird after getting good news. I once cried on and off one evening after finding out that I had passed the qualifying exams that had scared the hell out of me for months.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

Yeah! Its just like a panic attack only it's relief! And you just sob and hiccup and then things smooth out somehow...

[a-kosmos.livejournal.com]

I know, right? I was sort of disappointed. I was hoping that there would be a "spike the ball and dance around triumphantly" kind of situation. I have to say, I felt a bit cheated.

I definitely think that celebration is in order for you!

[sarahmichigan.livejournal.com]

I KNOW that taking care of the body also helps improve the mental health but I still sometimes neglect it. It's a good thing to remember.

*hugs*

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

Hugs. And thank YOU for continuing to post about your fitness journey. It helps to see you with your pushup posts and your icon of the flexed bicep.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Very relieved you are ok!

[tshuma]

Good news! I totally get the stress response and the relief response coming out so intensely.

And yes, being in the body can do that. I had the initially embarrassing experience of tears streaming down my face in the middle of a group yoga class. I'd finally snapped into myself and my grief over a beloved cat's dying the day before, and I did it RIGHT THERE.

I think it's splendid how you've found such a good match for you as a coach.

And I'm still beaming to hear that your news was good.