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I have an idea for a blog post: Advice for younger women.
I'd like to make it a list of 40 things I've learned as a woman of a certain age.
I'm not yet sure I HAVE 40 things I've learned as a 40 year old that would be valued by younger women.
Here's a start though. Edit: who knew I had this much good advice in me? =)
1) Pluck your chin hairs while your face is slightly 'dirty'... they come out easier and don't break.
2) If the person you're crushing on isn't all that "into you"... might want to reconsider why YOU are into THEM.
3) If your body is sore, move it. No, really. (And don't say should I move it if it's broken, I know you are smarter than that)
4) Invest in quality tools of all kinds. Take care of them. You don't need 3 pairs of mediocre scissors, or nailclippers, or whatever, if you have one good pair and you know where it is.
5) Get rid of crappy stuff. Get rid of multiples. You deserve better than to paw through boxes of crap looking for something you need.
6) Don't talk trash behind people's backs. Hell, don't talk trash period. You look petty and mean when you do.
7) Take care of your hair. But don't fuss much about the color, unless that is fun for you. Some amazing silver foxes out there! <3
8) Remember to thank and love on your SO (and also your friends) frequently. Tell him or her you love them, and do the things that make them feel loved. Don't wait on them to say so, love grows from the seeds you plant.
9) It's a lot easier to do housework or other awkward tasks, a little bit at a time so it never gets too bad. Stress cleaning at 3 am because the inlaws are coming over? About as much fun as those all-nighters we used to pull in college, only now you FEEL the exhaustion.
10) Feed your pets the good stuff, if you can.
11) Feed YOURSELF the good stuff, as much as possible. Junk food is called that for a reason.
12) I already said move your body, but it's important. Find some kind of moving that you like and do it every day, even if just for a little.
13) Listen to uplifting music every day. Why put on that high-school ballad that always makes you think of (insert memory here)? Use music as a tool to make your life better. It's one really effective mood-altering drug. =)
14) Choose your attitude (notes from the FISH! Philosophy) because you HAVE a choice. Remember: every day above ground is a good day.
15) Learn to love without fear. Yes you'll get hurt. But you'll learn a lot more and you'll love a lot more too.
16) Do something you love, every single day. Doesn't have to be that you love your job all day long, just make sure you do something you love, at some point during the day.
17) Speak up when something happens that is WRONG. Even if you're scared to. Courage needs exercise to be strong, and speaking up is the right thing to do.
18) Get to know some people who are really different from you. Democrats, go chat up some Republicans and vice versa. Atheists, go talk to some life-affirming church-people and vice versa. I'm not saying go yell at someone you know is going to yell at you. I'm saying go have dialog, go stretch your brain.
19) In that vein: Make yourself a little uncomfortable. Every day, or as often as you reasonably can. Physically, by working out or stretching. Socially, by saying hello to new people or as in emotionally, by being honest about what's really up with you. The rest is left as an exercise for the student. =)
20) Find things in your life (or outside your life) that you are really enthusiastic about. Go. Be enthusiastic. Share with friends, make new friends who share your enthusiasm. Nothing is so contagious as genuine passion for something.
21) Don't drink too much. If you do, find out why you do, and figure out what needs that behavior is trying to meet. Ditto any other mind-altering substances or obsessive behaviors.
22) Travel. Even just around within your state (province, county, etc.)
23) Become an expert on at least one thing. Know that this expertise inevitably leads to other areas of interest, then enthusiasm, then expertise, and embrace that process whole-heartedly.
24) Be There, by which I mean stay present and awake in your own life. Living on auto pilot means you can spend months or even years, and then ask yourself, "what have I been doing all this time?" And you can make decisions that haunt you - or which wake you up. Better to learn how to stay awake.
25) In THAT vein: Don't watch as much TV. You should know by now that they're just trying to sell you more stuff and so they try to make you unhappy SO you buy more stuff. (go watch George Carlin on this, he's AMAZING). Go make something. Go talk to people. Take a class, phone your grandma (if you're lucky enough to still have one, tell her I said hello), play in the mud with kids. People are SO much better than shows.
26) Learn what kind of art you like.
27) Start making some of the kind of art you like. Pick one, learn a little, maybe get really into it, maybe not. Maybe try a lot of different kinds, there's a lot of art you can do on the cheap. (note earlier advice about taking a class) Art is INCREDIBLY rewarding.
28) Say what you mean. Be honest. How much easier is it to tell the truth than to keep track of a million little lies, even "little white lies"?
29) On the other hand, be kind. You don't have to volunteer hurtful opinions or dump that you're having a bad day all over every single person you meet.
30) By now, you're a grown up. ACT LIKE IT. That stuff we learned in kindergarten or so, about cleaning up our own messes? About learning how to share, and help others? Yes, THAT. Do THAT.
31) Returning to #4): If you have good stuff, it should all have a home. Dishes go here and here, nailclippers go here, all the blankets here, all the tools here, all the books there, et cetera.
32) Putting stuff away means you have room to DO stuff you want to do. If there's not room for all of your stuff to go away, it might be time to rethink how much stuff you have. (why yes, I used to be a packrat, whyever would you ask me that? *grin*)
33) Sing. Everyone can sing, everyone's made to do it, everyone has music they love. If it has to be in the shower or alone in the car along with the radio, that's where you should do it, but even if you think you croak like a bullfrog, do it.
34) Get dirty sometimes. Garden, or learn how to work on a car, or make crafts with a kid, or help a friend clean their house. Really, dirt can be very good for you. It's proof you are getting stuff DONE.
35) Work toward rooting out unnecessary shame and anger. You deserve better than to be eating yourself alive with that kind of toxic stuff. I used to bottle it all up till it exploded - most often internally, in bouts of self-hate and castigation. If there's a voice telling you things that aren't loving, that make you feel horrible, learn whose voice it was originally, and learn how to tell it to shut up already.
36) If you need help with 35, ask for it. If you need professional help dealing with 32 OR 35? Ask for it. My life got a lot better once I met a professional organizer, and MILES better once I worked on the stuck places in my life with counselors and therapists.
37) You deserve to be able to try to be happy. First, work to remove the obstacles between you and what you need, (and go get what you need) then remove the obstacles between you and what you want (and start trying to get what you want), and you'll probably discover that, as Abraham Lincoln put it (IIRC) "Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be."
38) Try to make more beauty in the world. This can be as simple as erasing a swear word on a student's desk, or as big as making art, or loving someone, or planting a garden, or smiling at a stranger.
39) Beauty and kindness are worth it, just for themselves.
40) Do good. Do right also, but just do GOOD.
Whew! Not too bad for a first draft! Any comments, advice, critiques, or contributions?
(that was SO much fun!!)
I'd like to make it a list of 40 things I've learned as a woman of a certain age.
I'm not yet sure I HAVE 40 things I've learned as a 40 year old that would be valued by younger women.
Here's a start though. Edit: who knew I had this much good advice in me? =)
1) Pluck your chin hairs while your face is slightly 'dirty'... they come out easier and don't break.
2) If the person you're crushing on isn't all that "into you"... might want to reconsider why YOU are into THEM.
3) If your body is sore, move it. No, really. (And don't say should I move it if it's broken, I know you are smarter than that)
4) Invest in quality tools of all kinds. Take care of them. You don't need 3 pairs of mediocre scissors, or nailclippers, or whatever, if you have one good pair and you know where it is.
5) Get rid of crappy stuff. Get rid of multiples. You deserve better than to paw through boxes of crap looking for something you need.
6) Don't talk trash behind people's backs. Hell, don't talk trash period. You look petty and mean when you do.
7) Take care of your hair. But don't fuss much about the color, unless that is fun for you. Some amazing silver foxes out there! <3
8) Remember to thank and love on your SO (and also your friends) frequently. Tell him or her you love them, and do the things that make them feel loved. Don't wait on them to say so, love grows from the seeds you plant.
9) It's a lot easier to do housework or other awkward tasks, a little bit at a time so it never gets too bad. Stress cleaning at 3 am because the inlaws are coming over? About as much fun as those all-nighters we used to pull in college, only now you FEEL the exhaustion.
10) Feed your pets the good stuff, if you can.
11) Feed YOURSELF the good stuff, as much as possible. Junk food is called that for a reason.
12) I already said move your body, but it's important. Find some kind of moving that you like and do it every day, even if just for a little.
13) Listen to uplifting music every day. Why put on that high-school ballad that always makes you think of (insert memory here)? Use music as a tool to make your life better. It's one really effective mood-altering drug. =)
14) Choose your attitude (notes from the FISH! Philosophy) because you HAVE a choice. Remember: every day above ground is a good day.
15) Learn to love without fear. Yes you'll get hurt. But you'll learn a lot more and you'll love a lot more too.
16) Do something you love, every single day. Doesn't have to be that you love your job all day long, just make sure you do something you love, at some point during the day.
17) Speak up when something happens that is WRONG. Even if you're scared to. Courage needs exercise to be strong, and speaking up is the right thing to do.
18) Get to know some people who are really different from you. Democrats, go chat up some Republicans and vice versa. Atheists, go talk to some life-affirming church-people and vice versa. I'm not saying go yell at someone you know is going to yell at you. I'm saying go have dialog, go stretch your brain.
19) In that vein: Make yourself a little uncomfortable. Every day, or as often as you reasonably can. Physically, by working out or stretching. Socially, by saying hello to new people or as in emotionally, by being honest about what's really up with you. The rest is left as an exercise for the student. =)
20) Find things in your life (or outside your life) that you are really enthusiastic about. Go. Be enthusiastic. Share with friends, make new friends who share your enthusiasm. Nothing is so contagious as genuine passion for something.
21) Don't drink too much. If you do, find out why you do, and figure out what needs that behavior is trying to meet. Ditto any other mind-altering substances or obsessive behaviors.
22) Travel. Even just around within your state (province, county, etc.)
23) Become an expert on at least one thing. Know that this expertise inevitably leads to other areas of interest, then enthusiasm, then expertise, and embrace that process whole-heartedly.
24) Be There, by which I mean stay present and awake in your own life. Living on auto pilot means you can spend months or even years, and then ask yourself, "what have I been doing all this time?" And you can make decisions that haunt you - or which wake you up. Better to learn how to stay awake.
25) In THAT vein: Don't watch as much TV. You should know by now that they're just trying to sell you more stuff and so they try to make you unhappy SO you buy more stuff. (go watch George Carlin on this, he's AMAZING). Go make something. Go talk to people. Take a class, phone your grandma (if you're lucky enough to still have one, tell her I said hello), play in the mud with kids. People are SO much better than shows.
26) Learn what kind of art you like.
27) Start making some of the kind of art you like. Pick one, learn a little, maybe get really into it, maybe not. Maybe try a lot of different kinds, there's a lot of art you can do on the cheap. (note earlier advice about taking a class) Art is INCREDIBLY rewarding.
28) Say what you mean. Be honest. How much easier is it to tell the truth than to keep track of a million little lies, even "little white lies"?
29) On the other hand, be kind. You don't have to volunteer hurtful opinions or dump that you're having a bad day all over every single person you meet.
30) By now, you're a grown up. ACT LIKE IT. That stuff we learned in kindergarten or so, about cleaning up our own messes? About learning how to share, and help others? Yes, THAT. Do THAT.
31) Returning to #4): If you have good stuff, it should all have a home. Dishes go here and here, nailclippers go here, all the blankets here, all the tools here, all the books there, et cetera.
32) Putting stuff away means you have room to DO stuff you want to do. If there's not room for all of your stuff to go away, it might be time to rethink how much stuff you have. (why yes, I used to be a packrat, whyever would you ask me that? *grin*)
33) Sing. Everyone can sing, everyone's made to do it, everyone has music they love. If it has to be in the shower or alone in the car along with the radio, that's where you should do it, but even if you think you croak like a bullfrog, do it.
34) Get dirty sometimes. Garden, or learn how to work on a car, or make crafts with a kid, or help a friend clean their house. Really, dirt can be very good for you. It's proof you are getting stuff DONE.
35) Work toward rooting out unnecessary shame and anger. You deserve better than to be eating yourself alive with that kind of toxic stuff. I used to bottle it all up till it exploded - most often internally, in bouts of self-hate and castigation. If there's a voice telling you things that aren't loving, that make you feel horrible, learn whose voice it was originally, and learn how to tell it to shut up already.
36) If you need help with 35, ask for it. If you need professional help dealing with 32 OR 35? Ask for it. My life got a lot better once I met a professional organizer, and MILES better once I worked on the stuck places in my life with counselors and therapists.
37) You deserve to be able to try to be happy. First, work to remove the obstacles between you and what you need, (and go get what you need) then remove the obstacles between you and what you want (and start trying to get what you want), and you'll probably discover that, as Abraham Lincoln put it (IIRC) "Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be."
38) Try to make more beauty in the world. This can be as simple as erasing a swear word on a student's desk, or as big as making art, or loving someone, or planting a garden, or smiling at a stranger.
39) Beauty and kindness are worth it, just for themselves.
40) Do good. Do right also, but just do GOOD.
Whew! Not too bad for a first draft! Any comments, advice, critiques, or contributions?
(that was SO much fun!!)
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You (and everyone) is of course free to select your own grooming habits, but since I do pluck, I've found they pluck easier without breaking if my skin is a touch oily.