Ladies, parents of girls, friends and lovers of women...

[labelleizzy]

How children are raised is how they behave when under stress.

For instance, attempted rape or sexual harassment.

Trigger warning, but I wanted to boost this signal because she hits the nail on the head about what happened for me with my own date rape in college.

Read the comment strand too.

a follow up which I found quite educational: Who FB friends your rapist? Assholes who aren't really friends to you.

Comments

[queen-in-autumn.livejournal.com]

This is one of the best things I've ever read about rape.

Thank you.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

check the follow-up. Hell, I think I'm reading her archives.

[capnkjb.livejournal.com]

In retrospect, such a revelation seems like it should be obvious. But it isn't! Hooray for human irrationality!

At least, I think that's what I mean to say. It's kind of like when people do sociological studies to figure out something really basic, and laypeople are all "why did you spend money on something so obvious" when they don't realize you need confirmation for things - only this one won't even get a modicum of that that response, because the general public doesn't really give a shit about changing a (sick) status quo.


I don't know if that made sense either. But yeah, fuck jerks.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

People who don't wanna be awake to the fucked-upness happening to people they allegedly care about? are people I don't want anywhere near my trust-life.

Check the second link I just posted.

[capnkjb.livejournal.com]

Ohhh shiiiit that second one has me all thinking because geez it is kind of relevant.

[temperance14.livejournal.com]

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

I tried to thank her for her old post, but couldn't find the comment link. Also--read her post "A woman walks into a rape (bar)"

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

I will go find that one. I just linked to another suggested-post of hers, hell yeah I'm reading her archives.

[capnkjb.livejournal.com]

I particularly like the comment thread where a guy comes on complaining about getting treated poorly in bars when he approaches a woman. Someone brought up the Nice Guy™ thing, and how the guys who label themselves that way are often complete self-deluded assholes (not that all are, zomg).

I just like it when that thing is pointed out. I'm not sure why, but I get a visceral "SEE that is what I am trying to say!" response and it's nice and vindictive and fun.

But then those are two traits some would say I have, so.

[celticmoni.livejournal.com]

Thanks for posting this.

It's so true. My best friend and I use to go to a local bar to sing karaoke together. Once there was this asshole guy who wouldn't take no for an answer, and insisted on joining us at our table. I was about to tell him off, but she was all, "oh, there's no harm in it. we don't want to be rude", etc etc. Eventually our guy friends showed up, and were all polite and smooth in getting him to leave. It kinda pissed me off that he wouldn't listen to my "no thanks" or her more subtle hints, but when the male types backed us up, he good naturedly bowed out.

...

I was half expecting our guy friends to flat out piss on us at that point, it was so primal and territorial...

[shipofools999.livejournal.com]

I read this post from a link in OKCupid. I was really lost because it is so familiar and why are you posting it again. Then I remembered it wasn't an LJ thing and the world made sense again. I like her stuff. It does point out some hidden thinking.

I am glad on giving up being considered polite already. I did it for my own reasons that have nothing to do with the rape culture, but I figure I am in a better place in regards to it. I can not conceive of agreeing to go out with a guy because he keeps asking and to be polite. I might consider it with the thought that I might be cutting my nose off to spite my face. But if he is one that doesn't take no for an answer, then there is nothing that would make me say yes. To me, that is plum silly. I am so grateful that we aren't living in our mothers' world.

T has a great story about being one of the nice guys who is aware of how women need to protect themselves. I tried finding it but I don't think it is his blog. I think it was a comment to someone else's post.

[kittiliscious.livejournal.com]

Excellent. Thank you for posting.

[5tephe.livejournal.com]

Another one just to say thanks for posting.

That's a great writer there - saying some very important things. I have now waded through a lot of her archives. Great stuff.