cranky

[labelleizzy]

I'm a cranky lady tonight.

It sucks to be an adult.

I'm not living up to my own expectations, I'm _almost_ getting what I need (and how FRUSTRATING it is, to fall short of what I need), and it feels like almost everyone (the childish voice says, "no, EVERYONE!") but me is getting more, being happier, more fulfilled, accomplishing their tasks better than I am...

I'm just going to sit over here in my crankypants for a little while.

Comments

[elissali.livejournal.com]

*hugs* for the crankypants. I know how that can be.

[astroaztec.livejournal.com]

That does rather match my first grader this weekend.
If I can lead her to be as aware of is as you, I will have done well.

[satyrlovesong.livejournal.com]

Ah, you have no idea. I decided to be logical and ask the appropriate people what it was that was keeping me from what I want. . . and had some very disturbing revelations which indicate that I will NEVER be able to have a particular thing I want.

Eye opening, that.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

^_^ !

wow. Never is a very long time. I think that officially counts as a Thing Which Really Suxxors.

I am sorry to hear that.

[satyrlovesong.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Doesn't it though?

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

I think we need to have tea.
a long Saturday (or other) afternoon someplace with cozy couches, that's neither of our houses, with a few liters of hot tea and snacks that are maybe not very good for us but that are comforting.

How's the 3rd week of June for you?

*hugs you*

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Hugs...

[ragani.livejournal.com]

"it feels like almost everyone (the childish voice says, "no, EVERYONE!") but me is getting more, being happier, more fulfilled, accomplishing their tasks better than I am..."

Funny, from my perspective, you look to me to be one of the people who is getting more, being happier, more fulfilled, accomplishing their tasks better than I am. It really is a matter of perspective. Of course, through-the-lj-glass is not the clearest perspective either way.

*Hugs*

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

through the lj-glass. Good point.

And it's not that I'm not grateful for what I have. I do try to be.

I guess it's natural to want things. Wasn't it Shakespeare's line about wanting this one's scope, or that one's art?

and I think it's also natural to be unhappy with your lot occasionally, or you'd never strive toward something better...

(oh, and re: accomplishing my tasks? at work I'm barely hanging on by my fingernails and just PRAYING to survive till the last day of school. I think they can't fire me at this point but I keep living in fear of my own incompetence and (current but not usual) apathy.

Thanks for YOUR perspective - it's valuable to hear that I'm doing some things right, by someone else's yardstick.

[zpdiduda.livejournal.com]

(((hugs you, crankypants notwithstanding))))

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

*hugging you*

If you ever want to hear what I admire about you and wish I was accomplishing like you, you just ask. But I know when feeling this way, sometimes one just wants hugses. *more hugses*

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

you're right about the hugses.

and yeah, anytime we have time this summer or anytime I get blue, feel free to share something that I've done that you're proud of me for. I forget, in my striving, that some people can actually see what I've ACCOMPLISHED instead of what I INTENDED. Yanno?

talent you can't put on a resume

[laviolinista.livejournal.com]

hey, you had the talent of getting me outta my funk and getting me and my sweetie to have a really deep I feel kinda conversation last night. We saved thousands of dollars in counseling with you and your loving lj post. Definitely a talent you can't put on a resume, but makes you a treasure to us and the world.

The diet book I am reading talks about "at the next available opportunity allowing yourself to make an authorized YOU-turn (U-turn)." It means not berating yourself, just realizing you made a funny turn on the scenic route of life and just need to reset yourself by turning around or taking a parallel street and rejoining the intended path.

We love U!

... thoughts

[mrsgiggle.livejournal.com]

I like what the Dali Lama basicly said in the beginning of his book The Art of Happiness.
I'll paraphrase in C-ease since I don't recall it exactly...
American's have expectations that happieness depends upon a constrant UP feeling, where happieness should be based upon a basic level of no UP and no DOWN - this feeling of very basic levelness. One could call is satisfaction with the basics.
I've noticed that over the last 5 years that I've been working with this concept that I'm more deeply happy than I've been before.
I'm content - not exstatic - but it fills me more than constants UPs can do anymore.
Hugs & Love,
C