Fitness and FUNCTIONAL strength/balance

This year I've tripped, or misstepped and fallen to hands and knees at least twice. I credit my trainer Etty for the reflexes my body needed to be able to pull back and not *eat it* from falls like that... Both would have been a lot worse if I hadn't been strength training.

I also give myself credit, for showing up, being honest, doing the work, and for letting her teach me to be gentle with my own body. We work not past the pain but with the pain, allowing the pain to educate and to be the boundary holding the workout.

(no subject)

So I think this is depression again. As the change of the year, as the days get shorter, darker, colder.
But I think I've been struggling with this for a long time. Since I lost the teaching job, since I lost daily contact with hundreds of people who were enthusiastic and interesting and various ways. I can go days now where I only see Jeff. And I don't seem to have the energy to dig myself out and go solicit company.

Tonight I am tired and sleepy, I got a short weekend of sleep because we went camping and the first night was also the last night, because it was too cold. Because it was October already, maybe we should have realized. It was still fun but the sleep deficit is real.

The anhedonia is real also. Everything seems sort of numb and wrapped in cotton wool. All I do is read, it feels like. Even when I have things that would connect me to other people, I can't make myself do it. I'm made an appointment to see the therapist, hopefully talking to Lara will un snarl some things.