(no subject)

[labelleizzy]

So I think this is depression again. As the change of the year, as the days get shorter, darker, colder.
But I think I've been struggling with this for a long time. Since I lost the teaching job, since I lost daily contact with hundreds of people who were enthusiastic and interesting and various ways. I can go days now where I only see Jeff. And I don't seem to have the energy to dig myself out and go solicit company.

Tonight I am tired and sleepy, I got a short weekend of sleep because we went camping and the first night was also the last night, because it was too cold. Because it was October already, maybe we should have realized. It was still fun but the sleep deficit is real.

The anhedonia is real also. Everything seems sort of numb and wrapped in cotton wool. All I do is read, it feels like. Even when I have things that would connect me to other people, I can't make myself do it. I'm made an appointment to see the therapist, hopefully talking to Lara will un snarl some things.

Comments

[noelfigart]

Ouch. I hope that you and your therapist come up with something good.

And more importantly, that you simply feel better.

[labelleizzy]

Thanks for the kind encouragement. I have hope for the therapist to have some tools I can use, and it's a sunny day today, if chilly, I'll try to get out in it. That usually helps some. And I'm sore from the weekend (partly old scars reactivated by a fall I took, partly yesterday's workout, you know?) So moving will also be good, and I hope to get out of the house for a bit.

[cjsmith]

:(

I hope this gets better for you soon. :(

[labelleizzy]

Thank you. I appreciate the encouragement.
:)

[tarasacon]

I hear you. *hugs* if desired.

I’ve started using my SAD light early this year. It doesn’t compensate for my lack of community, but it helps stave off the lower edges of depression.

[labelleizzy]

I'll always take trusted-people hugs.

Doing the things that support my physical body... Remember to do them! Eat, sleep, have water, ask for support as needed.

Back in university I discovered that I had been touch starved my whole life so developed a protocol for touching/soothing my own skin as needed. Did that today, and also got clean. Both help.

[hitchhiker]

that sounds rough :( *hug*

[labelleizzy]

Inhale, exhale, pet the cat, repeat.

Thanks. Sympathy and validation help.

[princeofwands]

This timeline is total bullshit, but yay you for working through it all. I hope you find your happy connections inspiration sooner than later. *hug*

[labelleizzy]

I've had it pointed out that if I ask, I give people a chance to sat yes! And I'm trying that a little bit.

[princeofwands]

Yes! ;)

[tshuma]

Agreed with PoW, this timeline is total bullshit. Wish I could reach out to you to help. Have a big, seesterly hug from afar. I hope Lara can suggest some good moves to make.

[labelleizzy]

Lara kicked arse even more than usual today.

I even took notes.

And I'm on my fourth load of laundry.

[tshuma]

Excellent. She's been a godsend to us through this particular phase of existence.