reblog from the tumblez

[labelleizzy]

It’s 2 am. I’m up way past my bedtime because of reasons, namely that my brain won’t shut up and I’m feeling overwhelmed.
Recently diagnosed with ADHD and I don’t know what to do about it. Feels like I’ve been breaking any good things in my life, my whole life.
Only thing to give me peace tonight (this morning) is realizing that I am allowed to ask for help. I have two or three points of contact who may prove helpful. My therapist is one.
Depression sucks. ADHD sucks. Unemployment sucks. I have really good things in my life and I know it, intellectually, but I can’t keep them in focus right now.
I’m going to ask for help. Because I said I would.
This post is how I’m gonna keep myself accountable. Xposting to dreamwidth.
If you struggle with depression, ADHD, lack of purpose, lack of self worth, I’d like to hear from you.

adhd actually adhd depression low self worth low self confidence bad night help request because i said i would accountability gdi brain of course that's a tag
5 notes
Apr 9th, 2017

Comments

[teigh_corvus]

If you struggle with depression, ADHD, lack of purpose, lack of self worth, I’d like to hear from you.

*waves*

And it's been a horrendous brain day too. I don't currently have a therapist, have been white-knuckling it for...um, years. Couldn't afford one. With the shifts in my job - the family medicine practice I worked for merged with community health folks- the money increased. More importantly, we were supposed to have access to behavior health resources. I went for a screening appointment last Monday. Today I'm told that they can't see me, as it's a conflict of interest with my being an employee. I work across town from any of the therapist. I used to work for my PCP - conflict of interest much? More importantly - I have to start over with the therapist search, and no one in town is going to be as affordable as the community health folks.

I'm exhausted. It took me months to get past my brain to make that appointment. The last week, week and a half have been pretty rocky too. And I don't have a good support system in place. I'm having a hard time caring about that, though.

MEH.

Sorry. My point is - I know those feels, bro. *hugs*

[labelleizzy]

If you're on Facebook, I started a small group talking about ADHD stuff, for support against the brainweasels, advice, commiserations, discussion of options.

You wanna? We can exchange fb names on email, I'll tell you what the group's called, and you can come request to be added. This handle at Gmail is the best email.

[jreynoldsward]

Self-diagnosed ADHD here--figured it out after I went into special ed teaching--which meant I was in my early 50s when I finally understood myself. Well, I guess asking my sped colleagues "do you think I have ADHD?" and getting the "well, DUH" response (in a loving manner) isn't exactly self-diagnosis.

The untreated ADHD can lead to all the other stuff. BTDT, still working through it. Hugs.

[labelleizzy]

Thanks. That's helpful to know!

[tjoel2]

I do get very low somedays. There are days when I can rock the self-care and then days when it's taking everything I have to not fall into the abyss. Days when the brain is cycling through old stories of worthlessness, regret and guilt.

I'm glad that you made this post.

[labelleizzy]

I'm glad if this helps at all. My cycling seems to be strongly correlated to my hormones... And thank goddess for the Mirena IUD, because this-all used to be a rollercoaster​ of NO FUN and now it's like hey-pay-attention and then relaxes for the most part.

*Gentle hugs* I fucken HATE that abyss.
You can ping me at this handle at Gmail if you need distracted or encouraged. My worst days are depression and feeling useless, so you're welcome to ask for a life preserver to be thrown, if you need one.

[tjoel2]

Thanks, I appreciate that. Some days I feel like I totally have my shit together and then other days it all hits me and feels like too much.

[labelleizzy]

Self Care is such a fuckin radical act in this culture! I have specific routines now to start and end the day, without which I flounder.
They're not even very detailed or elaborate, they just make sure that I eat and get all my meds. I'm planning on getting more habits in place to keep me going till I get my shit together and find a job.
What I said to Teigh_corvus above goes double for you. If you want to come hang out on FB with other adhders, you're totally welcome.

[tjoel2]

Self care routines are so important! Kudos to you for doing that and sticking with it.

I'd love to hang out on FB with you all. Can you PM me the group?

[labelleizzy]

Yes indeed!

[starseeking]

*waves* From the docks of Depression Island, you can frolic in the ADHD trees, but keep clear of Anxiety Bay.

So basically you just described me. *hugs* I'm here.

[labelleizzy]

*hugs*
Hey, there's yo FACE! HI THERE!

[centauress]

Hugs and thank you for taking care of your self by asking for help when you need it.

[labelleizzy]

Hi lady. Thanks for saying exactly what I needed to hear. This feels like validation, I appreciate it, and I appreciate your constant ongoing positive support.