My ex was a master of disinformation.

[labelleizzy]

It's been two years now
since you left
So loud
And then so silent
Refusing
To speak.
Lying with silence
Sharp, pointed,
Nasty.

You said you'd be here
many years
you said...

Words left unspoken,
Promises
broken.

Lying to my face.
Mirrorshades,
Blank eyes:
Lying with the truth?
"I don't know"
FUCK that.

Disingenuous -
DID you know?
You said
whatever you thought
I wanted
to hear.

Disinformation
feels just like
all trust
disintegration.
Every time
you lied
Recalibration:
How could we
make do?

A strategy in war.
We were the
terrain...
Was I the prize?
The end-game?
The goal?

Was this even love?
Furious,
hurting:
Win the heart and mind,
Recover
MYSELF

Sex was fantastic...
Apathy?
Passion?
Now I'll never know.
Your true north
nowhere,
Your compass: broken.
Did you love
At all?

Disinformation:
Truthiness
Ain't truth.

Pattern's still the same:
Please tear down
your walls
Learn to see yourself.
Grow a pair
Man up.
Motherfucker, PLEASE.
KNOW thyself.
*eyeroll*




This has been my entry for this week on LJ Idol, therealljidol. This week's prompt was "disinformation" and it immediately brought to mind this PARTICULAR ex boyfriend. *sigh* I guess I still had some old feelings about all the stuff that happened.
I encourage folks to visit my colleagues' brilliant writing HERE and of course I will also encourage you to help me continue to play in this enjoyable sandbox by voting for this entry HERE

Comments

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

*hugs* thanks.
Fortunately both D and I are doing Much Better Now without him.