Something else I'm working to uproot in my brain.

[labelleizzy]

I used to feel like I was only of service to the world when I was doing something useful for other people.
I have been uncomfortable about and procrastinated on tasks that were "only" useful to me or that took care of me only, whether physically, emotionally or spiritually.

I'm learning how to value taking care of myself, getting water, good food, exercise, and enough social or spiritual time to nourish myself and keep from feeling lonely.

Has this been true in your life? or if someone you love acts like this, can I get an AMEN?

Comments

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

you are blessed to have a good man in your life, then.

We must do what we can with what we have. Some days we have more spoons, some days we have less.

Today feels like a let's get all the little things done that I've neglected to do, kinda day. I turned off the phone last night and meant to do it, I missed six phone calls for various substitute teaching jobs because I wanted to sleep instead. I feel guilty about that, I *should* be working, I should *want to* be working when I can. I didn't *want to*. Jeff is a good guy and didn't guilt me about it at all, but it turns out I'm guilting myself.

I coulda been there for someone who needed to take the day off, instead of cleaning my own house. See what I did there? Making someone, anyone else's need, or even my perception of their need, trump a perfectly worthy task-management in my own household. So I've been drudging around my house, instead of taking pride in me fixing things up to be nicer.

I'm also working on clearing the clutter and getting it out of the house, fixing valued things that I want to keep that are broken, and replacing lots of low-quality possessions with significantly fewer, but of higher quality.

I have a fridge magnet that says,
"I fall down, I get up again.
Meanwhile,
I keep dancing."

I think I need to go get that magnet and carry it around for awhile. hm.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

My husband is also a SAHD at the moment - has been since October, except for February and part of March when he worked a contract job. My job is well-paying and enough to keep us afloat, and him being home takes a lot of pressure off me - except of course for the pressure I put on myself.

I love that fridge magnet.