Something else I'm working to uproot in my brain.

[labelleizzy]

I used to feel like I was only of service to the world when I was doing something useful for other people.
I have been uncomfortable about and procrastinated on tasks that were "only" useful to me or that took care of me only, whether physically, emotionally or spiritually.

I'm learning how to value taking care of myself, getting water, good food, exercise, and enough social or spiritual time to nourish myself and keep from feeling lonely.

Has this been true in your life? or if someone you love acts like this, can I get an AMEN?

Comments

[tsgeisel.livejournal.com]

Amen.

If nothing else, taking care of yourself helps you be in condition to take care of others, so, hey, perspective.

[jendaby.livejournal.com]

That is awesome! I have become aware that I feel I need to always be doing somethng for others, but haven't yet gotten to where I personally feel comfortable doing something just for me. I admire you for taking that step!

I think balance is totally attainable, and certainly is a necessity, so it is great, and I think I will add a little "me time" to my daily goals for each day.

Thanks for the inspiration, and hooray for you taking care of you - which is excellent!

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

*nodding*

honestly, that's one of the ways I do get the personal stuff done.

but a couple years ago in church they were talking about signing up to be organ donors (which I am) and I heard my brain say, "Hey, we should start taking care of the body so the organs will be in good shape if we die!"

and I was like, Brain, WTF? We should take care of the body so we can have an enjoyable quality of life, NOW, for ME!

Brain has some work to do. So does Heart. It's still some struggle to remember I'm worth me taking care of, and while I know that's fecked up, I'm working to raise that low place up.

[astroaztec.livejournal.com]

AMEN!

[tsgeisel.livejournal.com]

Flylady principles apply here too. You can't recreate yourself all in one day, especially if you have firmly entrenched habits.

Easier said than done, of course.

[mama-hogswatch.livejournal.com]

Amen. greendalek and I both have a bad tendency to do it.

Among my friends these days, when we catch each other not wanting to take care of or nurture ourselves, we'll say, "Remember, put on your own oxygen mask first."

You know how when you fly, you're cautioned to put your own on before you help anyone else. After all, if you collapse, there's two people needing help and not enough people around to do it.

I do reframe self-care as a necessary thing to make sure I can do for others appropriately. Keeping myself strong, healthy, happy and stable IS useful to other people!

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

I am quite willing to take time for myself, but I fight the guilt every time I do. This is part and parcel of the guilt over my cluttered house and my husband who does more chores than I do.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

the oxygen mask metaphor makes a good point, but here's a problem.

how to phrase this... *scratches head*

I think I've learned how to stop beating myself up over every little decision I make, stop second-guessing, stop the Critic in my head from being overtly manipulative and mean.

However I think that when I drove out the big monsters that the little monsters changed shape and burrowed deep, and now either hang on my heels to prevent me accomplishing much, or sneak up and try to stab me in the knees. Or drug my food, or find attractive distractions, which also prevent me from accomplishing much.

I am working to manage the little monsters but I think I need little Saint Georges, little Aerins, little heroes to help me slay my dragons and little generals to help me plan the strategy that will move me forward so I can take charge of my life plan, my destiny.

I get stuck in the middle of the little battles and then I don't make much progress.

*pondering the creation of a new metaphor*

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

yeah, today is a flylady timer day.

Fortunately I am making sticky rice with mango tonight so I get to look forward to that.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

you are blessed to have a good man in your life, then.

We must do what we can with what we have. Some days we have more spoons, some days we have less.

Today feels like a let's get all the little things done that I've neglected to do, kinda day. I turned off the phone last night and meant to do it, I missed six phone calls for various substitute teaching jobs because I wanted to sleep instead. I feel guilty about that, I *should* be working, I should *want to* be working when I can. I didn't *want to*. Jeff is a good guy and didn't guilt me about it at all, but it turns out I'm guilting myself.

I coulda been there for someone who needed to take the day off, instead of cleaning my own house. See what I did there? Making someone, anyone else's need, or even my perception of their need, trump a perfectly worthy task-management in my own household. So I've been drudging around my house, instead of taking pride in me fixing things up to be nicer.

I'm also working on clearing the clutter and getting it out of the house, fixing valued things that I want to keep that are broken, and replacing lots of low-quality possessions with significantly fewer, but of higher quality.

I have a fridge magnet that says,
"I fall down, I get up again.
Meanwhile,
I keep dancing."

I think I need to go get that magnet and carry it around for awhile. hm.

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

My husband is also a SAHD at the moment - has been since October, except for February and part of March when he worked a contract job. My job is well-paying and enough to keep us afloat, and him being home takes a lot of pressure off me - except of course for the pressure I put on myself.

I love that fridge magnet.

[blessed-harlot.livejournal.com]

AMEN! I've been banging away at those bad habits, and I've gotten 1000% better. Oh yeah, and burning out beyond all recognition also helps rewrite a few habits, but I don't suggest that route.

And the little monsters are still there. Totally. I've used that exact same description myself. And the little monsters are mean, tenacious, slippery little bastards.

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

For me it's not even been about being "of service to the world," or at least not in a conscious way. It's more like things that only benefit me are just not worth doing, or at least not worth, say, spending money on.