End of an era

After thirteen years of partnership, thousands of miles together, three teacher training weekend commutes over seven years, dozens of dance events, bbq's, picnics, clothing swaps, renfaires, goodwill and grocery and recycling runs, schlepping friends and family, trips to Tahoe and Burning Man, i relinquish my car Percy to a new phase of life. Singing along to the radio and CD's at the top of my lungs, (and chair dancing too). Talking out loud about my problems, worries, and concerns as though the car could hear me and respond. There were several truly *awesome* dates with epic makeouts in the back seat, including my first date after separating from the expouse where i lost that one diamond earring...

She ws scratched and scuffed (my fault and stupid mistake) but she was mine. My first nearly new car. The first car with payments. The first car that felt truly *safe* to drive, where i wasn't chronically worried about something breaking, or running out of gas, or how can i afford to make the repairs.
Percy was SECURITY. Percy was FREEDOM. Percy helped me achieve my goals and help hundreds of students.

Best car for my thirties. What a great car she was.

Im torn between wanting to chase down the tow truck driver and get her back and an ever increasing relief that she's now someone else's task and problem. She started enough this morning to drive 10 feet over to the tow truck so hopefully she will prove useful and bring a decent donation to the Big Brothers Big Sisters which is where we decided to donate the charity credit.

Oh. Having some feels about my car that isn't my car anymore. Brb, some dust in my eye.

witchy post

Tonight is the Dark of the Moon.

I intend to do some cleansing and releasing, burning and destruction.

Feel free to leave something (energy, thought, problem, idea) here that needs to be released, let go, destroyed, or to otherwise leave your life.

Comments are screened, unless you want to allow them to be seen.

You can put anything here you need help releasing, and I'll do what I can to help.

Moon dark, blessed be Ganesh, remover of obstacles

it's the dark of the moon. Time to release what we don't need in our lives.

I release fear of making others angry/unhappy/dissatisfied
I release fear of what happens if I try something new and scary
I release fear of feeling alone, feeling useless
I release fear of risking and failing
I release fear of not-enough, of lack, of scarcity
I release my attachment to four full BOXES of paperwork that are just taking up space in my life
I release my attachment to dozens of books I don't read and I give myself permission to let those go out into the world
I release my attachment to old roles I used to play, old scripts I used to follow, old masks I used to wear
I release my worry of not being good enough to even TRY
I release my worry about my future and welcome in hope
I release my sorrow at all those old paths-not-taken, the old regrets and splinters-of-the-soul.

You are obstacles. You impede my footsteps. You are hurdles to be removed. You do not serve me, I put you in the fire with the other things that are in my way. Ashes to ashes. Feed the soil with the ashes, and grow something new.