Serotonin? Maybe

[labelleizzy]

Had a cranky weekend, all the way out into Monday or so. I got a full-on angry going I think it was Friday, about REI not offering enough of a range of plus size clothes, when really it was one particular company. When I went later to look at the rest of their plus size selection ( I hate that term, it's used in a very sexist fashion ( and they actually weren't that awful. But for some reason that was a safe thing to get mad at I think. And to express the fact that I was mad at clothes stores generally sucking at plus size fashion. And then by Tuesday, shoot was that just yesterday? Yes it was. Tuesday I had the runs. And just generally felt mildly miserable, and reluctant to go out. Which was kind of a pain because Tuesday is usually the date that Jeff and Jen have, and also because I offered a friend to help her with some moving related tasks, but got hit with my periodic diarrhea, almost immediately after I made that offer. I took the day to just sort of feel gross and blah, and then last night I took, probiotics? Because that's something that I can sometimes arrest a several days of diarrhea. It kind of says something about my life that I can't even remember if I was having the diarrhea all weekend. It's just kind of become an irregular thing that happens and it's barely notable anymore. So I took the probiotic last night but I saw her trouble falling asleep making her brain shut up and whatever. But today I feel very positive, even upbeat, even like I can get stuff done. I'm not beating myself up, I'm not telling myself crappy stories.

And so I was remembering that serotonin is made in the gut, in the intestines, and I feel crappy when I am having diarrhea, and taking the probiotics help. So I just went to try and do some reading about serotonin and what it does and how we get more and what does it do to our brains and our bodies, and it sounds like our studies aren't completely conclusive. Like serotonin does some things to the body and something's the brain But it's almost like we don't know whether it's doing good things. I don't know I'm pulling conclusions out of my ear and a couple of Wikipedia articles.

I wonder how much of my mood this weekend was biochemical perhaps the cause is something about my girl parts factory, you know hormones, because I'm about 4 months down from needing to get a replacement Mirena...

I don't even know. But I feel better today and I felt authentically crappy, mental health wise yesterday. So I just wanted a record. Cuz mental health is hard

Comments

[neuro42]

I'm glad today is a little better! That sounds rough :(

[tshuma]

*hugs*

Love you, seester, I'm sorry it was a hard day, but impressed that you're using recording it as a way of remembering the how and why of it all.