Be the change you want to see.

I've been napping a lot during the afternoons this week. I think the skin problem I'm currently dealing with may be the culprit, it recently got rather worse and is probably sapping my energies.

Am hoping to make it to the gym tomorrow. Picked up a couple more pairs of exercise sweatpant-dealies that should be cute and comfy. Looking less like a schlemiel when I go, when so many fitter ladies have cute coordinated outfits, will help me look forward to going.

I don't have any fear about going to the gym anymore. This was not the case when I last had a membership, something like 8-10 years ago. I was full of feelings that I was being judged, was worried people were staring, stuff like that. I was also judging myself. Lots. Feeling guilty and lots of should-have's.

I love that my life for the most part isn't full of fear anymore. My motivation does not come (or perhaps 10% instead of 90%) from fear. Wanting to be strong comes from a place of security and a desire to do what's necessary to plan for the future I want. I want to be a strong, flexible, vibrant old lady. Period.