argh.

[labelleizzy]

Two days of work at the same school with the same classes, even if there ARE 150 kids, is enough time to start learning some names.

and to start losing my heart.

*sigh*

is it too "egotistical" or too arrogant, to think, "they need me"?
But I don't think I could teach full time in that school, not with what I know already... not with Waldorf workings in my spirit... my head, my art, my intention...

Jeff is bothered by public spaces that have too much "ping"... it's an auditory thing. These public schools have a literal AND a figurative ping... Sharp edges, no pride, hard surfaces, much of the nature around them broken down, splintered, or scattered with trash... kids learn anger because they learn it gets them attention. But that's another tangent entirely...

Okay, how's this. If a place of learning is to be an oasis for the mind and the spirit, it simply doesn't do, to have each person hand carry a bucket of water from a faraway place. Or to "start an oasis" with bulldozers...

There's no meaning behind what I was teaching. It's all been drills of some kind or another, mental calisthenics maybe. Not that that's a bad thing... But all calisthenics and no... what? using the muscles you've built for something useful? No learning how to play a new game, or ride a unicycle or swing from a trapeze or climb a rope?

argh.

just my quick note here.
*is tired and frustrated, and missing the kids already*

Comments

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

No, for once I'm not talking about Waldorf here, or private schools per se. I'm talking about shrinking the size of public schools, supporting and doing Meaningful Continuing Education for public school teachers, building up the sense of community around each public school, getting the community to feel a sense of both belonging and ownership.

I know public schools aren't all stellar, & I know they aren't all hellholes, by any stretch. I know that all schools are full of people fighting the good fight, trying really hard to reach and to serve the students. I know that almost all the students would do Anything to make their teacher proud of them. Everybody IN the schools is working their butts off, but it feels to me like huge megaschools like I see all the time out here, don't give Anybody, teacher or student, the chance to really feel Seen. Or to feel Heard. The primary model for American modern schools began at the start of the industrial revolution. The goal was to provide consistently educated, obedient factory workers.

America isn't a factory-nation anymore. We need to reshape the structure of our education system to match the new global attention/information economy, without abandoning any of the students. Our habits of education and the system itself, all need to be revamped and modernized.

It's all pipe dreams for me now, but I've seen so much of the structure of school districts and schools, I've been a union rep, I've seen abusive and incompetent principals and amazing supportive principals. I've been on the hiring panels for principals and met the candidates. I'm saying I think there needs to be a greater awareness among the people in positions of authority, of the sacredness of their charge.

It's the children. Each one an unknowable potential, each one human and loving and trusting.

I want to change the system, make it more connected, compassionate, caring. Change it at the top. Change the disrespect and feeling abandoned to sink or swim so many new teachers feel. Heartbroken teachers can't meet the needs of children, or their own. Burnout is not okay.

I'm cropping up all these ideas, they're not fully formed. But I've seen a lot of schools, in sixteen years and 6 school districts, and there's common threads of what goes right, & common threads of what go wrong.

Of course of I figure out what's wrong, it falls to me to figure out how to fix it.

Working on that.

Jennifer, I hope your school in Kansas has what you need to succeed. I'm just saying I see a lot of schools that don't, or that don't QUITE. It's becoming a passion with me to figure this out, & how to make things better.