Once more...

[labelleizzy]

Autumn does this to me every time.
I'll think I'm on top of things, together, happy, then BAM!
The brown funk comes and sits on my chest, makes it hard to breathe, to get up and do anything, hard to remember Why Am I Even Here?

I know it will pass. I know I have plans with friends, and soon.
But autumn is about the awareness of inevitable change.
It is the little-death of leaves falling and first frost, not the catastrophe of The Tower, struck by lightning. It is not tragic, this change.

In some ways that makes me even more sad.
Slow, gradual, inevitable; where is my catharsis?

Comments

[temperance14.livejournal.com]

harvest something.

Bake something. Cook something like soup or stews, that require low slow contemplative cooking.

Find old yarn or scraps and make a quilt or afghan.

Harvest good things that have come before, for cozy, homey (you DO now have a stable home) thoughts and pleasures.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

thank you. This was a comfort.

I have boxes and boxes of possible quilt stuff. Wanna come down and play sometime?

[maestrodog.livejournal.com]

and you go through this every single year? wow...

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

have since I was a kid. It got better once I got me some o' that Old Time Religion (*snicker*) Pagan circles within circles, spirals and cycles... easier to find meaning and comfort.

I still can't help having the feelings. Don't know why I do, but at least, at long last, I gave myself permission to just feel them. They work themselves out. I'm generally quite the happy, sanguine, even-tempered girl. I know it's just for awhile.