If I were beautiful...

[labelleizzy]

I've been reading a lot lately about beauty. Cultural ideals, expansion of the idea of beauty (Northernsun.com has a t-shirt saying "If the ideal of beauty gets any thinner, soon no one will fit" with the T squeezing out of the block... and also a bumper sticker with a Venus of Willendorf line drawing and the slogan "Change how you see, not how you look".

I've read a good bit in the sassy web-zine FAT!SO? and in other blogs - (hee, "blog" is in the spellchecker now) like BABble, Joy Nash's blog, and found Lesson plans on tolerance.org for fat acceptance. I've emailed the director of BigMoves (thanks for the idea, kineticphoenix!) to find out more about possibly joining them in dancing for all sizes.

I'm fat. It is what it is.
I usually still think I am pretty, gorgeous, sexy, whatever... I rarely doubt my own intelligence (*shakes fist* Damn you, Mercury Retrograde!!!) but I've had self-acceptance issues around my body since I was young, thin, and klutzy. *shrug* I've rarely been fit or strong, so I want to bring that into the realm of self-image once again. I miss dancing, I miss feeling strong, and I want to go back.

Here's one website I really love and find inspirational: YouAreBeautiful. I know I found it thru another one of those meta-link days, so I can't credit who pointed me there. Another blog I can't remember suggested making yourself a sign for over your mirror: "This is what BEAUTIFUL looks like."

I've done that. I made a sign that I think itself is beautiful, and Jeff humored me when I taped it up at the top of the mirror. *smile*

I don't always see it, in that way that familiar things fade into the background, but when I notice it, I try to look at myself and see myself, even just for that moment, or even when I am brushing my teeth, as beautiful.

Here's another idea I found somewhere, it's a bit like some of the things Flylady says.

If I were beautiful... (and finish that sentence to express things you would allow yourself to do or have or want or be, _IF_ you believed you were beautiful.)

Almost makes me cry.

so here goes.

If I were beautiful... I'd take better care of my skin, hair and teeth.

If I were beautiful... I'd make sure I exercised and stretched everyday.

If I were beautiful... I would only own clothes that made me feel lovely and confident.

If I were beautiful... I would praise myself more often; I'd appreciate myself.

If I were beautiful... I would smell good, every day, with lotion or perfume.

If I were beautiful... I'd rid myself of all possessions that have unhappy memories.

If I were beautiful... I'd be more confident and ask more often for things I really want.

_________________

I think I will be doing this exercise for other areas of insecurity. (I think "competent" is the next adjective.)

Ladies, feel free to gank this and try it yourselves, and Gentlemen, if you like, you could substitute "attractive" or "handsome" if those are preferred words.

I'm going to open this post. Feel free to point people here if you think they'd like to try this meme.

Comments

[kittiliscious.livejournal.com]

I know you're not fishing for compliments, but I never think of you as "fat."

If I were beautiful... I would still be a bellydancer.

[tshuma]

The things you listed sounds a lot like "If I valued myself more...." packaged up with the idea that value is a function of beauty. *pets* I'm hoping the exercise helps.

[blacksheep-lj.livejournal.com]

This exercise troubles me, because it sounds like a list of things that would make you FEEL beautiful if you just did them, and as Tshuma said, seems to imply a lack of value for yourself as you are. I think most of all, it doesn't speak much toward making a change and loving yourself. I hope I'm missing the point somewhere, and you're getting something positive out of it.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

I can understand how you could think that.

no, this to me, is more like a to-do list.
today I'm working on getting rid of clothes and other things that make me feel less-than or which trigger memories I don't need activated...

in planning for tomorrow, I intend to clear my dressing table and have the yummy lotion I don't use often enough, handy so I remember to use it.

I think it's too late to walk in at the dentist and find out if I can make an appointment for tomorrow, but I had meant to do that today.

So. three things to improve on, in little increments.

[tsgeisel.livejournal.com]

The important part of the exercise to me is not to believe the opposites. Missing one will not make you "not beautiful".

(Maybe you want to borrow this icon?)

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

thanks. I _will_ borrow the icon.

also thanks, because I needed the smile.

[pirategrrl.livejournal.com]

I have a t-shirt that says "If Marilyn Monroe were alive today, she'd be too fat to model" in a circle around a photo of her, head to toe.
I liked it because it pointed out that one of the 20th century's greatest sex symbols would be considered "overweight" by today's rediculous standards.
I feel you on this one though. Don't let the bastards get you down.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow that's cool.

[yangming.livejournal.com]

Wow that's cool.

[kimkimkaree.livejournal.com]

If I valued myself more I would do all those things, too. Also, if I valued myself more I wouldn't be overwieght. Obesity is rather rampant and I can't simplify it down to just value - you need only look around at all our fellow Americans and see that our eating is out of control. But I can't help but feel that the path to happiness is not about learning to love yourself being overweight, but loving yourself enought to find help towards NOT being overwieght or simply that the weight is not you. Recently a friend of mine passed away who was 36 years old, due to his weight and eating habits. I struggle finding my way towards that assistance going in and out the door at OA so I'm not lecturing, simply sympathasizing.