reflection on insecurity

[labelleizzy]

Literally i keep being reminded of how i need to make sure i get fed.

Jeff had a date this morning and i didn't have time to get breakfast before i vacated to let them have the house, and i was feeling a little bit fragile as I sometimes do at those times.

But i made sure to eat the food i packed once i got where i was going and the mood got so much better. Duh...

The main thing is to do what i need to do to stay fed. in whatever ways i need to be fed.

but goddamn do i miss my dance community. the movement, the music, the hugs, the expressiveness... being in a different space, getting fed in a different way. Moving TOWARDS the thing that feeds me in a way that's not available to me in this coronavirus hellscape, goddammit!

I'm going to put some music on tonight either before or after Tuesday Night cocktail hour and get my groove on. It's been weeks and months since i carved that space out for myself, and nobody's going to carve that out for me.

Comments

[tarasacon]

I hear you re: moving towards things that feed the self. I am similarly cut off from the steps I was taking.

My number one “oxygen mask” task each day is figuring out what the food will be, or just making sure a couple times a week that there is easy food for all the times I am not able to put anything into the process other than assembling things.

[tshuma]

Carving out me time now that all our time is together by default has been an important, sanity-keeping measure these past few months. It’s not one B understands or experiences the need for, in so many ways, so it makes things challenging, but it’s literally the difference between us getting along and me feeling like crawling out of my skin on a daily basis.

All of which is to say: you go girl — get that groove on. You are in fact the one primarily in charge of taking care of you, and taking care of you is important. It’s all about the oxygen mask analogy.

[cinnamaldehyde]

Being hungry, in many senses, makes everything So Much Harder.

This now makes me want to do a Personal Nourishment Pyramid!

I'm glad you're making time for you, and ensuring you're fed.

[labelleizzy]

If you do make a Personal Nourishment Pyramid, I hope you share it. I would be very interested in seeing that.

[cjsmith]

nodnodnodnod <3

I had a similar experience when my foot problems stopped me from hiking and running. Those things fed me. I'll never get them back. Adjusting was reeeeeeeally hard. I'm glad you can put on some music and groove!

(Tuesday Night cocktail hour sounds like a zoom social thingy? I'm glad you have those. We all need some of that in this hellscape.)