Relationships are hard.

[labelleizzy]

Thanks, friends for offering support and listening in my last post.
Wanna say that really things are generally good, and we are working together to make it better. That wasn't the case for a long time but we are definitely doing the work now.

Part of the problem, as I suspect is true in tons of relationships, has been unvoiced expectations and assumptions. And unless you both are working on digging those hidden things out, there's not a lot of chance for change and improvement.

And being poly isn't any guarantee of Doing Relationships Better. Maybe there's a general "yes you must communicate" assumption, but you can communicate BADLY or have low emotional intelligence whether you are mono or poly...

*Sigh*

Also? The work is never done. That's not a bad thing, but it definitely seems to be an inevitable one.

Comments

[cjsmith]

Does it feel good that you’re working together, even if nothing is “all fixed” yet?

“Unvoiced and assumed” has been soooooo tenacious and so insidious for me. Solidarity, here. That can be really tough to get at. *hugs and support*

[tshuma]

Hey there, love. I hear you. It's a lot of work, and there is no end to this journey. But usually, after some time, enough of the work has been done that the next bit of work is less hard, and that happens more and more. *hug*

[hitchhiker]

glad to hear things are generally good (which of course doesn't make the bad bits any less painful :() *hug*