Best gift ever

[labelleizzy]

Just thinking about the best gift I ever gave myself.

It was the commitment to unlearn my lifelong habit of shit talking myself.

I don't judge myself for having feelings.
I don't judge myself for my productivity, or not.
I don't call myself mean names, or talk to myself sarcastic or mean or judgy.

Tonight I found myself unexpectedly leaking tears into the pillow. Why, I'm not sure. There's a lot going on, with shelter in place and my cat showing more symptoms of senility...
I just let the tears come. My therapist says being curious about what feelings are happening is a good habit to cultivate, and Brene Brown agrees.

I just let it happen till it wasn't happening anymore. I feel some better, maybe I just needed to shed salt (it's certainly possible)

I'm not even gonna judge my self for refusing to take the time to edit this post down to something more pithy, something that I could hope would go viral on Tumblr.

Sometimes it's enough to know that I'm more mentally healthy than I was, and keep going.

Sometimes I am enough, exactly how I am, exactly how I have arrived herenow, in this present moment

Comments

[noelfigart]

That is an amazing gift you gave yourself. Very cool.

[labelleizzy]

Thank you. I appreciate you saying that because you write so practically about mental and relationship health, and I know you Get It.

[stultiloquentia]

Your line about salt made me smile, because yep, my housemate likes to describe crying as, "your body restoring chemical balance by flushing the excess via the nearest available port." :)

[labelleizzy]

Gods know I feel better after I move and sweat, cry or come. All those things are let-downs in the GOOD way, not the "disappointed" way, heh.

[hitchhiker]

that's really wonderful.

[tshuma]

Such good growth. I love you bella, and I'm so happy to see you making strides this way.