What do you Value? Does your life show that?

[labelleizzy]

Last night I was telling Nick about a (possibly apocryphal) Buddhist teaching story:

The master has a large jar, a bucket of big rocks, a bucket of gravel, a bucket of sand on the table.
He instructs the student to fill the jar with the big rocks, as full as it can go.
Then he asks the student, "Is the jar full?"
The student replies, "Yes, teacher."
Now the master asks the student to add the gravel to the jar. Most of the gravel in the bucket fits into the spaces between the stones.
And he asks the student, "Is the jar full now?"
The student replies, "Yes, teacher."
The master indicates the bucket of sand, and the student knows what comes next, and pours the sand into the jar, and it settles in around the gravel and the stones.
"Surely it's full now, teacher?"

The master smiles, and pulls out a bucket of water from beneath the table.

I heard this story used by Steven Covey to talk about prioritizing your life according to the values that matter to you. In the video, the Big Rocks all have words painted on them. Words like "Family" "Romance" "Health" "Job Advancement" "Planning" "Self-Care" "Spiritual Development". All the kinds of things people talk about as their Highest Values.

Only Covey told the story backwards.
=)
He had the folks taking his seminar fill the jar with sand first, and then try to fit the big rocks in on top of the sand.
All of the taking care of yourself kinds of Rocks got left out, and it was a pretty powerful symbol.
Then he had his demonstration victims Subjects dump the sand out, and fit all the Big Rocks in FIRST. THEN add the gravel, THEN add the sand.

So, he points out, if you take care of the big Values first, you can fit the Projects and the Everyday Little Tasks in around them.
But you can just as easily let the Everyday Little Tasks take up All The Time You Have, and get to the end of your day not having taken care of any of the things you really find VALUABLE.

I'm finding myself dealing a lot in Sand, and not so much in the Big Rocks as I would like to.

So I'm making a drawing, and trying to set up a visual reminder of my priorities.

I've marked one "rock" as Dance, Music, Art, and Writing. I'm struggling for brief vivid descriptors. I could put Roles in, i.e. Wife, Friend, Sister, Aunty, Daughter, Lover. I could put it in as Nouns for the things I value: Self-care, Artistic Expression, Kindness, Philanthropy. I could use a personal pagan metaphor: Persephone, Demeter, Hermes, Artemis, Athena, Dionysos, Cerridwen, Brigid, Argante.

I'm leaning toward the Nouns at the moment. How about you? How would you describe the things you Value above all others?

How do you fit it all in?

Comments

[a-kosmos.livejournal.com]

Probably my biggest value is finishing my dissertation and working on that while working full time.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

Is that a value or is that a goal?
Or is it a goal that you value?
Splitting hairs perhaps...

[a-kosmos.livejournal.com]

Good question. It's definitely one of the bigger rocks in my jar at the moment.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

Priority. Yeah?

[jenny_evergreen]

I wish I could find a way to get my mother to understand this! *sigh* She fritters away her life in the sand worse than anyone I know.

So far, the things I prioritize are Parenting, my Relationship and my Support Circle. (Although I worry that I do too much on that last one sometimes.) So nouns and maybe some verbs.

And I don't! *wry* But I'm trying.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

My first problem isn't figuring out where my time actually GOES. That's Spouse, House, Cats, Lovers, Community.

I want to up the percentage of Bio-family, Meaningful Work, and Risk-Taking.

I want those three things. Stepping out in faith.

[anita-margarita.livejournal.com]

Here is what I know:
You order firewood by the cord (4' X 4' X 8'). That measurement is a standard amount; when the wood is stacked properly, that is what the dimensions will be.

But if the wood is split into small pieces, there is more wood in the cord.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

Smaller pieces also catch fire quicker. But they don't burn as long as the big pieces, so it's harder to cook or boil water over just small pieces...

[aelfie.livejournal.com]

That's a good thinky...I'll have to think of it when not in the bowels of all things Disney.

My favorite version of the story is that instead of water....the Teacher pulls out a beer. Which goes to show that no matter how full your life is....there's ALWAYS room for a beer. =) Truth!!!

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

I like it!

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

i've always loved that story. (the version i heard was that covey told the story straight, and then asked the audience what they thought the lesson was, and of course they all said "there's always room to squeeze more in", and he said "no, the lesson is that if you hadn't put the big rocks in first, they would not have gone in at all")

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

I love that . that is the entire point!