As always, feel free to ignore me. And I think you know to take what resonates and leave the rest. I can speak only from my own experience. There is no way to compare grief, there is no reason to compete around it. Your grief is your own, I just hope to share some of the hope I found over time.
It took (is taking) me what felt like forever. Dad's been gone for just over 3 years now, and I more often take joy in the memories than pain. But, still, I have the moments where I crumple, where I miss him with a pain like nothing else I know, where I want to fall over or hide or sit down in the middle of the sidewalk and cry.
The first therapist I had after his death used the analogy that grief is like tides and waves - it carries you in and out, sometimes you get to sit on the beach, sometimes you're in the undertow and can't catch your breath. Eventually you gain strength and start swimming more often than not. But this is the natural process, this is 'normal' - as normal as grief can be, as normal as any emotion can be. For what it's worth, I hated this analogy at the time, because it felt so powerless to me. Now, I accept that I was (and am) fairly powerless over this.
One of the things that comforted me early one was this entry of wordweaverlynn's. I bought lots of books, hoping that one of them would have something useful to say. Some of those written for children, tweens, and teens helped. Few of those for adults. Few overall - but if you want to come look at the stacks, you're welcome to.
I wish you peace and comfort, and am thankful that you had and have the love of such a wonderful person. I hope that you have people to hold you and comfort you as these moments hit.
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It took (is taking) me what felt like forever. Dad's been gone for just over 3 years now, and I more often take joy in the memories than pain. But, still, I have the moments where I crumple, where I miss him with a pain like nothing else I know, where I want to fall over or hide or sit down in the middle of the sidewalk and cry.
The first therapist I had after his death used the analogy that grief is like tides and waves - it carries you in and out, sometimes you get to sit on the beach, sometimes you're in the undertow and can't catch your breath. Eventually you gain strength and start swimming more often than not. But this is the natural process, this is 'normal' - as normal as grief can be, as normal as any emotion can be. For what it's worth, I hated this analogy at the time, because it felt so powerless to me. Now, I accept that I was (and am) fairly powerless over this.
One of the things that comforted me early one was this entry of
I wish you peace and comfort, and am thankful that you had and have the love of such a wonderful person. I hope that you have people to hold you and comfort you as these moments hit.