There is a Jewish tradition called "yahrzeit". You say a blessing for your loved one, you light a candle that burns for a day, you place it somewhere in the house where you can see it coming and going, so that it reminds you through the day of that person. People come to life again when you remember them. My father, a Jewish athiest who lost his mother when he was very young, took this piece of tradition to heart -- he had a vivid image of his loved ones dancing in a forest and riding carousel horses when they were remembered. Even my father found the ritual of remembrance comforting.
I, too, find that ritual helps. My ritual of remembrance is somewhat fluid ,and of my own design -- but the image of my father dancing in the forest always comes to me, and it brings me peace.
Whatever you're feeling, needing, etc... it's ok. Go with it, as you can. I tend to bottle it up and make everyone around me miserable until I finally let it out.
mm.. and as others have said, ritual helps, whatever it is. I've gone to the ocean, a restaurant I ate at with dad, bought a grill and fed friends, and so on for Dad's birthday. I tend towards things he would enjoy, figuring he's watching and enjoying it with me. :)
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The firsts are always the hardest for me.
Please remember that you are loved, and feel free to call if you need ANYTHING.
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;o)
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There is a Jewish tradition called "yahrzeit". You say a blessing for your loved one, you light a candle that burns for a day, you place it somewhere in the house where you can see it coming and going, so that it reminds you through the day of that person. People come to life again when you remember them. My father, a Jewish athiest who lost his mother when he was very young, took this piece of tradition to heart -- he had a vivid image of his loved ones dancing in a forest and riding carousel horses when they were remembered. Even my father found the ritual of remembrance comforting.
I, too, find that ritual helps. My ritual of remembrance is somewhat fluid ,and of my own design -- but the image of my father dancing in the forest always comes to me, and it brings me peace.
I hope that you find peace today.
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Whatever you're feeling, needing, etc... it's ok. Go with it, as you can. I tend to bottle it up and make everyone around me miserable until I finally let it out.
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