meme via CapriciousK, Mertuil, and others...

The question circulating today is what your 11-years-younger self would think of you, if s/he suddenly materialized today.

Well *winces* for one thing 11 years ago today my dad had died less than two months ago and I had started a new job just OVER two months ago...

so life was a swirly, bitter drink of chaos, grief, insecurity, and confusion.

the me from 1994 would be amazed at my current self confidence, but not surprised that I'm in teaching. she would be surprised that I stayed 8 years in that library job. Though she would have expected to be fired rather than quit, as I did... I didn't have much faith in myself and my skills at age 24...

that me would also be amazed at how incredibly happy I am now. the relationship I have, the friends I have, were not even conceivable to that mindset. The adventurousness, the security, being able to take (almost) for granted that I am loved and that people want to have me in their lives or just generally around? Inconceivable, if you don't mind me quoting Princess Bride.
*grin*

That me would be surprised to hear that I was angry at my dad for about 8 years. I used to have a lot of trouble admitting I was angry.
Now, (echoes Nathan Fillion) not so much. (You should HEAR me in the staff lounge sometime! But I'm funny about it.)

that me wouldn't have believed I'd stay 7 years with a man who had trouble expressing affection, but that me was on the verge of breaking up with a man who I'd dated for 2 years, who had that exact same problem... The more things change, the more they stay the same, until they simply don't stay the same. Thank the gods for epiphanies. I love epiphanies... they are just the best.

That me was sure I'd be married with kids by now (which is in part why I agreed to get married in the first place, so I wouldn't be an "old maid"... and this is my own baggage, and no commentary on Josh.)

as I say in my bio, the 11 year old I once was would find it surprising that I publish publicly so much of my own thoughts for people to read and comment on. the 24 year old me would have equal trouble. It was before I was well-established in the Renfair community, and WAAAAY before I got into the dance community generally... my support structures were rather thin, to be honest.

I think the me I was then would be relatively unsurprised by most of my major decisions. Also unsurprised by who I chose to date. Surprised about my lowering of my own standards so as to not be alone, but hey. that's one of the epiphanies I keep having over and over again. You can have multiple epiphanies about the same thing if you have a lousy memory for your own behaviour, which used to describe me. Until the year I turned 33, when I un-blindfolded myself.

If you ask nicely, maybe I'll tell that story. *shrug*

Now then, it's well past time I et something, so remember, I still have a post to come regarding my LAST DAY OF WORK for HHS, my school.
I did good things, and people did good by me, and I'm not quite finished there yet (unfortunately).

but I went to graduation for my seniors today, and cheered for them, and saw who I had to see. It was A Good Thing (tm)... and absolutely necessary to closure.

This was a good topic to post on. I am intrigued by the "11 years ago YOU" notion. Glad someone came up with it.