I feel like I'm getting only the highlights here, but I will say this: yes, exactly. I hope you continue seeking a counselor for your very own self regardless of cost, and make a decision about sobriety/drinking as you see fits against what you are learning.

(For myself, there is always an internal check about *why* I am drinking. Is it to enjoy it or to try and drown some discomfort? The more I look at it, the less able I am to bullshit myself about the why.)