In the Garden (Last Chance Idol, Week #1)

[labelleizzy]

Just now in my garden (that isn't a garden -
It's more like a dead patch of dirt than a garden!)
There's men cutting trees, stripping sod from my garden
There's men moving rocks, digging holes in my garden.

My backyard was green and quiet,
Full of light and birds and green things,
Overgrown and sweet and shady,
Blessed refuge for my spirit.

Knowing what is yet to come
Still my feelings drag and droop
Missing what had been before
nothing yet has been replaced...

But then in my garden (so soon in my garden!)
New pond and stone birdbath enlivens my garden,
Bright birds and orange koi making homes in my garden,
My sweet spouse and me drinking tea in our garden.

soon,
our
green
flowering
fruiting
quiet
noisy
fluttering
splashing
twittering
garden.


This was my garden last week,

And this is my garden right now.


please find my colleagues' work on this theme HERE and when a link to voting has been created in the evening of Sept. 30, it will be HERE. =)

Comments

[crisp-sobriety.livejournal.com]

I quite liked this! The initial rhythm was so lively (very daring, I think --many people rely on a slower one, as a crutch, thinking it gives them weight), and it built up to that blow-by-blow breakdown so well. I really enjoyed it.

And of course I hope everything goes well, and that you love the new garden as much as the old.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

Well, thank you! I tend to be an intuitive writer, so the strategy for writing this go round was does it work with the rhythm in my head?

And yeah, I think well love it. The designer is fantastic.