Be the change you want to see.

Fitness and FUNCTIONAL strength/balance

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 07:39:18 GMT

This year I've tripped, or misstepped and fallen to hands and knees at least twice. I credit my trainer Etty for the reflexes my body needed to be able to pull back and not *eat it* from falls like that... Both would have been a lot worse if I hadn't been strength training.

I also give myself credit, for showing up, being honest, doing the work, and for letting her teach me to be gentle with my own body. We work not past the pain but with the pain, allowing the pain to educate and to be the boundary holding the workout.

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Dory was right

Wed, 28 Jul 2021 17:50:05 GMT

Like in finding Nemo? Dory was right.
You've got to just keep swimming swimming swimming...
:)

My leg and hip are hurting a lot less. I think Etty and I are successfully digging into the tight/locked up/atrophied muscles that have been causing me such pain over the last several months. Hip rotational work is good, feels good, and I can feel things releasing bit by bit.

Thank fuck she's patient and gentle, because I still struggle to hold those concepts in mind (and body) simultaneously with "working out". And "me".

She's teaching me to be gentle to myself the way that my cat (who is sometimes a very bitey little calico) has taught me how to be gentle to other people (and critters.)

Slow. Steady. Regular.

And the body is changing.

We're not where we were, my body and me. But nobody's is. We're all figuring out how to care for ourselves and each other in a world 🌍 where Covid is A THING, and it's still causing fear and damage... And I have folks who care. And I care about myself.

A little bit every day. Just a bit. And I can build my wind back by my next birthday (November) because I do well with long distance goals, and I can do a little bit every day that hurts in the good way. Gods know nobody is going to do that FOR me.

Okay. I'm feeling good.

(I learned this week that I'm in menopause. 71 on the FSH blood test. And I'm feeling like, an unchained self, beneath some piles of old chains that I've been moving off me for DECADES. I have other feelings, not yet fully identified yet.)

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Oh wow, I hurt less

Wed, 07 Jul 2021 17:33:48 GMT

Last night we had dinner at friend's house and they have a saltwater pool (it's very luxe, DO RECOMMEND)

ALSO they have a jacuzzi with jets strong enough to do authentic massage.

It was my first time in a pool in over 2 years I think.

Took a leisurely swim and float, looking up at the stars, chatting with L, one of the daughters of the family, and then I did oopsy daisy over into the Jacuzzi from the pool and had the jets absolutely POUND my sore places in back and hips.

Today, the world is beautiful, and nothing hurts.

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Fitness post shelter in place: EEYURG. :(

Wed, 23 Jun 2021 19:06:25 GMT

I've been doing short workouts twice a week, during this whole pandemic, but that's basically all. I've kept a decent amount of the muscle 💪 strength I developed pre pandemic, most of the flexibility.

But.

My shit still hurts, regularly. Still have regular aches at the dislocation and bone breaks (right ankle, knee, wrist) plus where those limbs join the torso (shoulder and hip/lower back).

Yesterday I took a walk with my niece, from her house into downtown mountain view. It's like five or six short city blocks, not like long New York or SF blocks. That and back again, and stopping at two shops.

Holy CATS y'all. My endurance isn't great. My wind isn't great. Even my balance isn't great, because the muscles in the right side of me haven't been getting enough challenge to stay strong, soft and healthy.

I wasn't embarrassingly wobbly, but I could feel it, and was reminded of how difficult it used to be to walk straight before I had the ACL replacement surgery. Which I never enjoy that reminder.

Uncomfortable, not fully painful.

Bit of a blister on the sole of my foot, achy body especially around hips and knees. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But I DID THE THING and now I have a baseline.

Etty has been telling me I need to be walking more, maybe bicycling more.

And I was like, yeah, yeahhhhhhh ONLY NOW that I'm sore (not sore AF, but SORE) from a walk that probably wasn't even quite a full mile round trip?

I'm feeling more motivation to a) take daily short walks and b) get my bicycle fixed up so I can ride her again. (She's pretty and purple and PLAYAFIED hahahah )'( and has flat tires I think, and a rusty chain.

I'm going to see if the bike shop has time to take her on Friday. I came to slow wakefulness remembering/dreaming how nice it can be to bicycle out and back, especially earlier in the day or later in the evening.

I have a Plan. *\o/*

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This has been a very intense week!

Fri, 22 Jan 2021 19:15:33 GMT

(I get to use this icon again)

Did you cry during the inauguration? I did, big shuddery breaths and all, and I've been doing it off and on all week.

Monday was a long effortful hike which my body needed badly.

Tuesday I got my Second Opinion with the Kaiser psychiatrist, and she said yes, I think you do have ADHD, and offered to try me on Strattera.

Wednesday we got up early enough to watch the Inauguration, and I cried a lot

Yesterday (Thursday) we had couple's therapy and I got to say a couple of things that have weighed on me my whole life. Jeff shared some things he said he would like to change, so there were lots of Feelings, and he kept me company while I had them.

Today's been cleaning up cat pee AND ALSO finding out I have a viral post on The Wellerman and the Worker's Songs folksong Tradition, so now I'm going out to find more good ones to add to the post.

Eventful goddamn week.

<3

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Science, yay and boo

Wed, 23 Sep 2020 19:55:06 GMT

YAY: decent night sleep, banana and limeade for breakfast.
YAY: we got our flu shots on Monday afternoon!
BOO: hips legs and shoulders creaky, ditto spine. I suspect a minor and manageable aftereffect from the flu shot
YAY: after working out with Etty today, she told me to get the foam core roller and roll my back upper and lower, my hips, inner thighs (OW FUCK) AND I ACTUALLY DID IT and feel 27 times better.

BOO: had to do the morning pee cleanup and floor washing again after Tribble pissed on the floor outside the box AGAIN
YAY: got an Rx to help kitty with pain and bloody urine dots
BOO: OMG she sounds like an angry garbage disposal when we give it to her (every 12 hours, coming up on time now
YAY: my cyst is draining!
YAY: hydrocolloid bandages are amazing! The goo is just being sucked up out of the cyst and into the bandage!
YAY: I'm photographing the stages of drainage, it's awesome and gross! (SCIENCE!)
BOO: Had to move my car across the street because the house one over from ours is being demoed.
YAY: I was 6 hours late moving it and didn't get a ticket!
BOO: they haven't started DOING anything yet. *sigh*
YAY: First lunch is 🥭 mango with coconut 🥥 coconut sticky rice and more limeade.
Second lunch TBD.

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quick tmi observation

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 18:59:37 GMT

as i observed to my trainer today on zoom:

really good sex?
is like REALLY good physical therapy.

my leg is stronger, my balance on that side much easier. it feels like some part of my leg that's always tightly wound has... unspooled a bit. relaxed.

like it rarely relaxes but it has now.

Even beyond my shit not hurting today, that was really good sex.

we're still working on our communication around it, but this is the most hopeful i've been about our sex life in years.

we're doing couples therapy, and it seems to really be working because we both have buy-in.

the sexiest thing?
he SHAVED for me. like it was a real date and all.

happy anniversary, love. sixteen more years please!

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The state of the Liz

Sat, 01 Apr 2017 04:08:23 GMT

Came to realize today that working out meets my physical needs but also my depression needs, and my ADHD needs. It meets the depression needs by giving me the endorphins. I always feel better and more cheerful after workout. Meets the ADHD needs by providing structure. Working with a trainer helps give me much needed social time/interpersonal time, and because my trainer is how she is, she provides praise readily and she provides corrections so that I'm doing things right. I always feel calm after working with her because she always tells me what I need to do to make sure I'm doing it correctly, and she praises me when I do it right so there's emotional needs that get met in the course of a workout that I wasn't even realizing.

I'm so glad I can afford this investment in my health. I'm so damn glad.

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