labelleizzy: (Default)
A bunch of us who grew up touch starved developed unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I would like to share, please, the healthiest coping mechanism I’ve found for wanting the kind and quality of touch that I need, when I can’t get enough of it. And all it needs time, hot water, soap, and like $5.00!
Trader Joe’s Lavender Salt Scrub costs like $3.99 in store. Amazon has it listed at $15.00!! Plus shipping! Duh, don’t buy it on Amazon then…

Pretty easy to make a salt scrub at home if you don’t have a TJ’s. Olive oil, coconut oil, almond oil, or any kind of thick massage quality oil, with the same amount of non iodized salt and maybe a few drops of an essential oil. Lavender is good because it’s a natural antimicrobial, but you do you.

Exfoliating is pretty simple, it’s a bit rough on your skin till you get used to it but good grief does my skin feel amazing, soft & smooth right now, hands, arms, shoulders, legs, torso. And NOTHING ITCHES right now except for that spot I can’t reach in the middle of my back.

I like to get in the shower, wash my hair first, then turn off the water to scrub my skin. I do hands, then arms (underarms feels SO GOOD to scrub but please don’t try this just after shaving if you shave!), shoulders, boobs and torso, butt and hips, legs and feet, and face is last (and most gentle).

Then I get some soap on my scrubbie, get me and it gently wet, wipe off remaining salt and excess oil, before resoaping and washing as usual.

Many years ago, I left my ex husband, for a bunch of reasons but one of them was, that he refused to touch me in the ways I asked him to, the ways I needed. And I wrote myself a reminder:

“If nobody else is touching you in ways that you need, you need to do it for yourself.”

I forget this sometimes. It can be hard to get enough warm tight hugs, or enough neck kisses, or other things I wish I had more of and don’t seem to know how to ask for, how to get. But I can definitely treat myself on a Saturday afternoon, scrub my bod, cut my nails, do my hair.

I can do this for myself, and so can you, mostly. If this specific technique doesn’t work for you, or if you are differently-abled than I am (which is mostly able) then i encourage you to adapt.

You can still pamper yourself. You can still feed yourself in the non food ways, you can still treat yourself with kindness and gentleness (yes, for some of us it takes conscious practice, I know and realize).

Love yourself enough to care for your body, listen to what it needs, and do what you can to provide that.
I love all y'all. I finally love myself, too. (Mid forties fat cis woman.)

Take good care of each other and of yourselves, please.

#touch #deliberate touching #touch me #gentle touch #loving touch #self-care #touch starved #touch starvation #kindness #massage #exfoliating #exfoliate #exfoliante #exfoliantscrub #grooming #love yourself treatyoself

Rob sez...

Apr. 17th, 2008 09:33 pm
labelleizzy: (handfasting)
Scorpio Horoscope for week of April 17, 2008

Verticle Oracle card Scorpio ("Precious")

It's the Week of the Fabulous Smirk. Not the Week of the Arrogant Smirk or the Vengeful Smirk or the Hateful, Whiny, Passive-Aggressive Smirk. Rather, the Smirk that Passeth All Understanding. The Wise, Charitable, Forbearing Smirk. The Uber-Smirk that says, "I've figured out what everyone's hiding, and I love them anyway." You are ready, Scorpio, to explore the Divine Smirk that arises naturally when you have outwitted an obstacle that was obscuring the truth from you; when you have finally seen through the delusion you were under and guessed the secret you weren't smart enough to see before.

< smirk >

Health.

Apr. 29th, 2007 10:27 pm
labelleizzy: (growth is inevitable)
I've decided that from now on, April is my Month-o-Self-Care-n-Checkups.

it just makes sense.

No more putting it all off.





which reminds me, I have to book a flight and get a substitute again for Friday's Southern Cal memorial for Scotty. And make sure it's ok with my boss. (I'm pretty sure it will be.)
labelleizzy: (demi clamshell)
The question circulating today is what your 11-years-younger self would think of you, if s/he suddenly materialized today.

Well *winces* for one thing 11 years ago today my dad had died less than two months ago and I had started a new job just OVER two months ago...

so life was a swirly, bitter drink of chaos, grief, insecurity, and confusion.

the me from 1994 would be amazed at my current self confidence, but not surprised that I'm in teaching. she would be surprised that I stayed 8 years in that library job. Though she would have expected to be fired rather than quit, as I did... I didn't have much faith in myself and my skills at age 24...

that me would also be amazed at how incredibly happy I am now. the relationship I have, the friends I have, were not even conceivable to that mindset. The adventurousness, the security, being able to take (almost) for granted that I am loved and that people want to have me in their lives or just generally around? Inconceivable, if you don't mind me quoting Princess Bride.
*grin*

That me would be surprised to hear that I was angry at my dad for about 8 years. I used to have a lot of trouble admitting I was angry.
Now, (echoes Nathan Fillion) not so much. (You should HEAR me in the staff lounge sometime! But I'm funny about it.)

that me wouldn't have believed I'd stay 7 years with a man who had trouble expressing affection, but that me was on the verge of breaking up with a man who I'd dated for 2 years, who had that exact same problem... The more things change, the more they stay the same, until they simply don't stay the same. Thank the gods for epiphanies. I love epiphanies... they are just the best.

That me was sure I'd be married with kids by now (which is in part why I agreed to get married in the first place, so I wouldn't be an "old maid"... and this is my own baggage, and no commentary on Josh.)

as I say in my bio, the 11 year old I once was would find it surprising that I publish publicly so much of my own thoughts for people to read and comment on. the 24 year old me would have equal trouble. It was before I was well-established in the Renfair community, and WAAAAY before I got into the dance community generally... my support structures were rather thin, to be honest.

I think the me I was then would be relatively unsurprised by most of my major decisions. Also unsurprised by who I chose to date. Surprised about my lowering of my own standards so as to not be alone, but hey. that's one of the epiphanies I keep having over and over again. You can have multiple epiphanies about the same thing if you have a lousy memory for your own behaviour, which used to describe me. Until the year I turned 33, when I un-blindfolded myself.

If you ask nicely, maybe I'll tell that story. *shrug*

Now then, it's well past time I et something, so remember, I still have a post to come regarding my LAST DAY OF WORK for HHS, my school.
I did good things, and people did good by me, and I'm not quite finished there yet (unfortunately).

but I went to graduation for my seniors today, and cheered for them, and saw who I had to see. It was A Good Thing (tm)... and absolutely necessary to closure.

This was a good topic to post on. I am intrigued by the "11 years ago YOU" notion. Glad someone came up with it.

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